This one goes out to all those dumbf***s (male, obviously) who think it’s damn cute to call you after a long long time and say: Guess who? I mean I just got the call and since I couldn’t fake the excitement or have the patience to play the guessing game, I hung up and didn’t take the call!
Haven’t you all heard this before?
I really don’t mind playing dumb if it’s a woman on the other end cuz at the end of the day, for she might be some hot babe from the past I could now have some luck with. You know I could pretend that a telephone is actually a television and start guessing names with no luck and later try and sound surprised and say: Hey, what a pleasant surprise… how aaaaaare you? Looooong time! It’s soooooo wonderful to hear you again!
But Men? Huh? Guys, come on, if you really know me, you’d know I’m not the kind who gets excited about mysterious young male callers. If we haven’t been in touch, it’s cuz I don’t really want to, dude, or you maybe you really don’t. Then, what’s all this sudden new found sense of friendship about?
With guys, what I really want to say when I hear that trying-to-be-cute and mysterious voice saying “Guezzzz Whoooo?” is:
“My ass. Cuz that is what makes noise like what I’m hearing right now. So if you want to stop sounding like my ass, identify yourself now.”
Oh, I just got the call again.
It was my ol’ Prof! Ooops!
Post Script:
The last line, of course, was fiction cuz this story needed a punchline! He he!
MADRAS INK. 