Basically, you got it.
Yeah, a theory about love/lowe/leov/leow/luv/ishq/vishq/pyaar/vyaar/kathal/kadalai…
Before I start this theory of mine, here’s a disclaimer:
I don’t claim to know it all like someone people here do, but from over half a dozen relationships in a year and after counselling another half a dozen people involved in half a dozen half relationships (yeah, complex alrite), I put together this brutally clinical theory on love and its forms, which might be useful to you if you’re confused about your relationship and wonder why it isn’t working. If you are in a utopian dream romance, you won’t need this. But hey, when did a little theory do anyone harm!
A = Boy
B = Girl
Stage one: For anything for somethin to happen between A and B, the two need to have ticked these checkboxes. Do you both have enough of this together?
1. Time 
2. Space 
So once they’ve spent adequate time and space together, there are these things that need to say Yes.
1. Heart 
2. Mind 
3. Body 
4. Soul 
If it’s only Heart that says Yes and the others disagree with the choice of person, then it’s what will be known as crush or infatuation.
If it’s only Mind that says Yes, then it’s what will be known as a relationship of convenience or arranged, premeditated, calculated relationship based on rational thinking.
If it’s only the Body that says Yes, it’s what you’ll one day realise it was Jusht Lusht… some people call it Leov at firsht sight! *sigh*
If it’s only the soul that says Yes, it’s purely platonic and you guys make great friends. [Yeah, this has already been explored in a previous blog but here it is again for you to see the full picture]
Now, for you to be really sure that you are in leov, you need to confidently tick all these checkboxes. Can you? Look at em again…
1. Heart 
2. Mind 
3. Body 
4. Soul 
Okie, now see if the other person can tick all the four too. Cuz if A can and B cannot or if B can and A cannot, then, it isn’t really a balanced relationship. And there are plenty of chances for the relationship to fail. So think about it. So think again, can you both… can both A and B tick these boxes with a clear conscience?
Good, now check if
A’s contribution = B’s contribution.
It is? Great. Congratulations, you guys are truly, madly and deeply in love with each other.
Over to Phase Two. Can you make this thing work? Is it possible for you to take the plunge?
Welcome to a few more checkboxes. And make sure both A and B both fill it independently and assign values on a scale of 1 to 25 for each of the following.
1. Effort 
2. Resolve 
3. Faith 
4. Truth 
Does it match up… is A’s effort equal to B’s? Is A’s Resolve equal to B’s? Do A and B have equal faith and trust in each other? Do A and B both tell each other every single thing that’s needed to sustain a healthy relationship?
Now be honest when you add up A and B’s contribution. If it’s equal, you guys are a match made in heaven and everyone else can go to hell… if it isn’t, there’s some amount of talking to be done so that A’s contribution and B’s contribution is more or less equal. 60-40 is okay, 40-60 is okay, 50-50 is great, perfect and too good to be true, 70-30 indicates that it’s lopsided… that’s like the danger sign… the minute things become 80-20 or worse, you know you’re in trouble. Which is when you go back and consider all these ten checkboxes and try to tick them honestly from both sides — A’s perspective and B’s point of view.
1. Space 
2. Time 
3. Heart 
4. Mind 
5. Body 
6. Soul 
7. Effort 
9. Faith 
if you can’t tick all of these, watch out, try to talk it out and let go.
Learning to let go and knowing when to let go is such an important part of leov. Else, you will only undo all those moments of joy you gave each other. Leov will soon turn to hate, bitterness will creep in, sorrow will choke your system and nothing can stop tears from popping out of your eyes!
Before letting go, see if you’ve done everything you could do to make it work. Don’t give up before you try all million things you can do for love. Else, you’re always gonna sit back and wonder: What If? (I remember saying that before, but hey, its part of the checkbox theory!)
* * *
I saw this beautiful 1943 French classic called Children of Paradise… God, it was some three hours long and a black and white film but guess what?? i loved the movie. I dunno French but the English subtitles helped to comprehend wat the movie was tryin to say: Love is such a simple thing.
Yes, it truly is. So just go with the flow. And don’t get into the checkbox theory until crisis really sets in. When depression truly sets in, use checkbox theory and stick to your decision.
* * *
The theory could get more complicated depending on how complex a person you are. Here’s how. What if you are very particular about…
1. Height 
2. Weight 
3. Vital Stats 
4. Skin colour 
5. Age 
6. Sense of humour 
7. Caste 
8. Religion 
9. Language 
12.Sex (yeah!) 
17.Social status 
18.Compatibility with friends 
Oh, there are many many more like horoscope, astrology, chemistry, history, biology, statistics etc. So the more complex your taste it, the more the checkboxes you need to fill. So… think again! Who said love was simple? 😛
Kidding… It actually is. The theory is just for those who want to clinically get-over a relationship… The easiest way to kill love… is to dissect it!
Thank you for attention!
you mentioned,”Learning to let go and knowing when to let go is such an important part of love”
what abt learning to start?sometimes not learning to answer this question will be the major killer of Love.
*grin* i was here;-) and i agree….with which bit tho???hmmmmm…hmmmm….. hmmmmm….and oh!i aint gonna say who i am. shall assume u know.
*eureka**nirvana* i must be high. help!!!!my head’s spewing out theories and finding loopholes in urs:-O
u kno sudhi…goin thru ur theory AGAIN…i was all ready to fire comments (mostly the same as the last time’s) but then i saw ur last line…lolz…i can deffy vouch for it.it really helps u get over the entire thing.
That was a long test. I always used “FLAMES” to check whether it would work or not 🙂 🙂
u still have the main street paper saved,u actully put that on the blog!!!BTW am still in the utopian dream romance 😉
hmm. the movie was fantastic alright. think it was all the perfect expression of emotion without wordy drama… hey. that could work for leov too…
hahahahhahahahaha ……… messiah hath solved the piroblems of the worrrrld. An algorithm to a relationship. Draw a flowchart or something for it 😉
balaji… thanks ma! all experience… he he!
knowing to start? well i think u’ll know when to start… its such a spontaneous instantaneous thing, does not require theory… u close your eyes, the person’s face flashes in front of u, you get excited, u feel the urge to communicate or at least meet the person… yeah, it sounds like the movies but thats how it all starts…
sometimes u just wake up one day and realise it… sometimes its the absence of the person that makes u see the value of that person and realise u miss him!
my checkbox theory is not about how to fall in love, its about how to fall out of it!
i dont think u shd start if u dunno… it shdnt be a conscious decision if u get wat i mean! 🙂
but then, like my disclaimer reads: what do i know?
HA HA! Flames… yeah man, even i dig flames… totally! it always works! old formulas rule anyday! 🙂
hmmm…hmmmm… hmmmm… let me see…
oh, it’s u… my christmas present!! 🙂
Santa hasnt packed u yet huh? Damn! I’m gonna lodge a complaint with the Grievances Section of Santa’s office!
Cool but i guess you need to remind urself that what’s utopian romance for you might be somebody’s nightmare on elm street! if you want to lose that person even as friend, go ahead, continue to stalk him!
Its high time people realised there is a huge difference between romance and obsession. but hey, some people are awake and you cant wake them up!
theories need inputs to be get updated… so maybe talking with u helped too!
no theory is final… there will always be additions and subtractions… so if u find loopholes, pls report to author! 😉
ena u thot if u brand urself Ro, ill stop calling u heroihni?? *evil wicked laugh*
i will not stop till the whole world calls u that. thanks for the company ma… dunno wat i wud ve done without u at the fest! really appreciate that…
no flowchart for fallin in love, just go with the flow. when u wanna fall out of it, then just go with the chart! he he!
a loophole to this theory…..whatever happened to the spirit?
yeah breathless, bring in the spirit!