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Udderwoman: Every super hero’s dream come true!

January 21, 2005 · by sudhishkamath

I’ve been thinking about this for a while.

The need to create a comic pair for Suderman.

After all, how long can he keep hitting on Mary Janes and Meri Jaans! Every superhero deserves his pair and after much deliberation and consideration, Udderwoman was created!

Yeah, this post comes after the author watched The Incredibles.

So what is Udderwoman really like?

Hmmm… To begin with, she can be quite an animal. And yeah, baby, she can be domesticated.

Udderwoman is every superhero’s fantasy woman come true.

She has horns. (And the adjective that goes with it… dirty mind, I’m talking about sharp!)

That’s cuz she’s a total cowgirl straight from the Westerns. She’s in possession of a treasure chest and try pinching it from her and she can kill you with her _oo_s (fill in the blanks… actually never mind, dirty mind, I’m talking about LOOKS. Come on, she’s not a fembot!)

And cuz of her bovine characteristics, the hump is her best feature. (yeah, I read you dirty mind. It’s not what you think!)

She lives on grass and hence is always high. She’s quite a Spice Girl when she sings ‘Mama.’ (Now imagine her wearing Spice Girl costumes and i can guarantee there’s going to be quite a lot of cleavage spilling out of her corset)

She has a rather bizarre effect on Suderman. She’s always the woman on top and after an intimate session, Suderman becomes Duderman, the milkman (like Peter Parker, the photographer). After a prolonged intimate session, he comes Duderdude!

Any connotation with Hindi words is clearly intended. But while we are at it, for the benefit of our Hindi readers, may it be said here that she has a rather unconventional but sexy bottom. Uska ajeeb roop hai, anokha dung hai jo paakane main bahut kaam aata hai (Translation: She has a rather strange utility that can be used while cooking!)

The amount of kaam she does, her photos need to be there in the Kamasutra (Note to self: Must add some pictures in Kamath’s version of the book). Every rural playboy would wish he had two of them for a HARD day’s work. Yeah, he could ride her all day, all night!

She’s so hawt and still the girl around the corner. She can be spicy, best when you have her for dinner rather than after dessert. No matter what your hunger is, Udderwoman can satisfy you. She knows the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!

India worships her. Even the minorities WANT her to satisfy their human urges (er… hunger). Oh yeah, she has four legs and a tail and the rest of the material for this blog was pinched from my first standard essay on her. (I’ve had a crush on her since then! Sigh!)

Every other fictitious character refers to her. Yeah, Holy Cow! And yes, in case you are gay, remember she can be quite a guy (read: gaai) too!

Now, if only a woman could do all this. Now, you know why she’s every man and superhero’s fantasy come true!! He he!


CON-TEST

WANTED: Here’s your chance to create a superhero. Email me sketches of what Udderwoman could look like. She can’t look like a cow for logistical and cosmetic reasons. She needs to look human and hawt and yet ooze the abovementioned qualities of a cow! Email it to madeinmadras@gmail.com and I’ll put it up along with this post with due credit. What you thought? That there’s a cash prize?? 😛

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  1. Unknown's avatar Elixir
    January 21, 2005 Reply

    rotfl…!!!!!*salute*

  2. Unknown's avatar Guru Subbaraman
    January 22, 2005 Reply

    A tangential query.. is animal porn unlawful/unethical 😉

  3. Unknown's avatar Ms.Sphinx
    January 22, 2005 Reply

    ahem ahem….i see that not too many people are too anxious to take u up on ur incredible offer;-)paavam su-der-man:p

  4. Unknown's avatar Ms.Sphinx
    January 22, 2005 Reply

    well so is this like a hangover of the superhero syndrome? and did the movie do it?re-activate the superhero neurons i mean!!:D

  5. Unknown's avatar Suderman
    January 22, 2005 Reply

    elixir!
    😀 he he! tanks!

  6. Unknown's avatar Suderman
    January 22, 2005 Reply

    Guru:
    No, its not unlawful or illegal.
    It’s wat u see daily on discovery channel!
    And is it unethical?
    methinks that it is unethical if shot without their knowledgeor permission…like wat discoverychannel does. if its done with auditions and if the actors know that they are just performing it aint unethical at all…

  7. Unknown's avatar Suderman
    January 22, 2005 Reply

    ms. sphinx:
    who cares baby! as long as i have you coming back!! *smack*

  8. Unknown's avatar Suderman
    January 22, 2005 Reply

    mrs. sphinx:
    just thot ill add the comment count by one more… he he! superhero hangover??? no… im still superhero…at least for u, I’ll always be! *hug*
    and no… i did find takers. vinodji has sent a picture…check it out! he he!

  9. Unknown's avatar Ms.Sphinx
    January 23, 2005 Reply

    :p ahem ahem….i shall fight the retorts at the tip of ma tongue.i am nice,remember?olrite, u be sleepin.good night:)for me, its sunday morning.u see, it takes a bit of getting used to…superhero’s sleep cycle i mean. after all it’s not every day and forever that i get to hang out with almost famous superheroes:D

  10. Unknown's avatar Sangeeta
    January 23, 2005 Reply

    dunno abt any ‘udder woman’, the ‘other woman’ is surely in vogue…

  11. Unknown's avatar LEGOLAS
    January 24, 2005 Reply

    ROFL

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