I’ve been thinking about this for a while.
The need to create a comic pair for Suderman.
After all, how long can he keep hitting on Mary Janes and Meri Jaans! Every superhero deserves his pair and after much deliberation and consideration, Udderwoman was created!
Yeah, this post comes after the author watched The Incredibles.
So what is Udderwoman really like?
Hmmm… To begin with, she can be quite an animal. And yeah, baby, she can be domesticated.
Udderwoman is every superhero’s fantasy woman come true.
She has horns. (And the adjective that goes with it… dirty mind, I’m talking about sharp!)
That’s cuz she’s a total cowgirl straight from the Westerns. She’s in possession of a treasure chest and try pinching it from her and she can kill you with her _oo_s (fill in the blanks… actually never mind, dirty mind, I’m talking about LOOKS. Come on, she’s not a fembot!)
And cuz of her bovine characteristics, the hump is her best feature. (yeah, I read you dirty mind. It’s not what you think!)
She lives on grass and hence is always high. She’s quite a Spice Girl when she sings ‘Mama.’ (Now imagine her wearing Spice Girl costumes and i can guarantee there’s going to be quite a lot of cleavage spilling out of her corset)
She has a rather bizarre effect on Suderman. She’s always the woman on top and after an intimate session, Suderman becomes Duderman, the milkman (like Peter Parker, the photographer). After a prolonged intimate session, he comes Duderdude!
Any connotation with Hindi words is clearly intended. But while we are at it, for the benefit of our Hindi readers, may it be said here that she has a rather unconventional but sexy bottom. Uska ajeeb roop hai, anokha dung hai jo paakane main bahut kaam aata hai (Translation: She has a rather strange utility that can be used while cooking!)
The amount of kaam she does, her photos need to be there in the Kamasutra (Note to self: Must add some pictures in Kamath’s version of the book). Every rural playboy would wish he had two of them for a HARD day’s work. Yeah, he could ride her all day, all night!
She’s so hawt and still the girl around the corner. She can be spicy, best when you have her for dinner rather than after dessert. No matter what your hunger is, Udderwoman can satisfy you. She knows the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!
India worships her. Even the minorities WANT her to satisfy their human urges (er… hunger). Oh yeah, she has four legs and a tail and the rest of the material for this blog was pinched from my first standard essay on her. (I’ve had a crush on her since then! Sigh!)
Every other fictitious character refers to her. Yeah, Holy Cow! And yes, in case you are gay, remember she can be quite a guy (read: gaai) too!
Now, if only a woman could do all this. Now, you know why she’s every man and superhero’s fantasy come true!! He he!
WANTED: Here’s your chance to create a superhero. Email me sketches of what Udderwoman could look like. She can’t look like a cow for logistical and cosmetic reasons. She needs to look human and hawt and yet ooze the abovementioned qualities of a cow! Email it to firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll put it up along with this post with due credit. What you thought? That there’s a cash prize?? 😛