Who wants to go to hell?
Constantine does not.
So he sends the audience.
Constantine seems like the script a pissed-drunk Keanu Reeves heard during his ‘Matrix’ hangover. The story about the demon-slayer who has to go to the very place he sent them all: Hell.
How he tries to win his place back in heaven is what the rest of this good versus evil theology-meets-science fiction-meets-KeanuReeves-meets-special effects tale is all about.
The film at best, works as a 121 minute-long anti-cigarette-smoking commercial. Keanu Reeves smokes, gets lung cancer and has to go to hell. He fights his demons, and finally turns to gum before the credits roll up.
Considering the style with which Constantine keeps lighting a cigarette at the drop of his last one, I doubt if it will even work as an anti-smoking campaign. Somuch, that the Keanu introduction scene with the bottom-angle slow motion shot of the cigarette falling, made me think Superstar Rajnikant was next gonna get out of the car.
Next, Keanu, with his widely-known special (Freeze Frame: Special isused here as a more sensitive option to the word: challenged) acting skills, goes up the building to whisper his name to the demon possessing a victim: Constantine, John Constantine, almost like Superstar would say ‘Malai da, Annamalai.’ Or like Pierce Brosnanwould say: Bond, James Bond.
So what should I do, Keanu must have asked. And music video maker turned debutant director Francis Lawrence probably replied: “Just the usual. First, the blank straight look, then light a cigarette, we’ll get you a really cool lighter, take a puff, say your lines, drop the cigarette, walk off. In the crisis scenes, just give me your usual ‘What-the-hell-am-I-doing-in-this-movie’ look. The rest, I’ll manage with special effects.”
Cool, replied Keanu, with a straight face, of course.
The result: The film has 420 shots of visual effects, apart from the splendid samples of Keanu’s acting prowess, that is.
Though based on Hellblazer comics, ‘Constantine,’ uses Los Angeles as the backdrop instead of the regular Brit setting in London.
If you are a Rachel Weisz fan, then you have twin reasons to watch the film. Yes, twin-sister beaten to death formula: one dies,other wants revenge. Anyway, looking at Rachel’s growing longer by the minute cleavage in the course of the film, I guess the director knew that the only way to make you sustain interest in the film would be do engage you with her Peeping Toms or Bobs with two O’s … twins that is. Also note, interesting ploys director uses to make Rachel show twins.
‘Constantine’ uses Christian references and biblical characters to sound profound but only ends up as a comic attempt at turning a kiddie comic book into a ‘Matrix’-like movie with its cornball punchlines.
Check out the scene when ‘Constantine’ shows Satan the finger on his way to heaven and how Satan in returns cures him of cancer. Primitive but effective … Naa, just kidding!
Still want to go to hell? If you have that brand of humour, you might actually enjoy the trip.
MADRAS INK. 
Hey sud…c this da.. my review of ‘Ji'(it was published in MadrasPlus a week ago).
‘Ji’
Cast- Ajith Kumar, Trisha, Vijaykumar, Manivannan, Rajesh, Visu, Charanraj
Director- Linguswamy
Playing at- Sathyam Complex
The idea behind most of ‘Ji’ is very clear- the youth making it big in politics, discarding the old ideas in practice, and triumphing over the evil politician. IF only director Linguswamy had given an optimistic ending instead of portraying the hero as a killer and making us all imagine what the point behind the two-and-half hour flashback was…..
Vasu(Ajith Kumar) is a college student who is thrust into college politics by his set of friends. Initially wary and indifferent, he becomes very interested in politics, and contests in the general elections. What happens during and after the general election forms the crux of the story. Why this film is titled ‘Ji’ is anybody’s guess(and there are no prizes to be given away)- nothing in the movie is even remotely connected with the term ‘Ji’.
‘Ajith is a college student’ by itself sounds incredulous. Come on, he definitely doesn’t look like a college dude! Nor does he convincingly act as one. Ajith used to portray a youngster in love wonderfully, but alas, that was years ago. In ‘Gi’, he fails miserably in the love scenes. His action scenes are much better, his sentimental scenes aren’t bad, and boy, he does look furious when he shouts ‘dai’ to the bad guys- there’s raw anger in his eyes.
Ajith isn’t an amazing actor; but nor is he an atrocious one. Thala pola varuma, indeed.
The heroine,Trisha, has absolutely no role in the film. She exists for the sole purpose of giving a love-interest to the hero. But, of course, as usual, she looks gorgeous. Vijaykumar as Ajith’s father puts up a good show, and so does Rajesh, who plays Ajith’s uncle. Manivannan is his effervescent good self, and Visu plays a very important role to perfection.
Though no separate comedy track exists, humour is brought in by the kid helper at Mannivannan’s cycle shop(he reminds one of the mischievous mechanic kid in ‘Kaadhal’), and the ever-drunken man who complains that his vote had been left out.
Some dialogues are very good. For example, Ajith tells his friends – “All contestants will say I will do this, I will do that for the sake of votes… We will do ‘this’ and ‘that’ and then ask for the votes…”. The scene when Ajith tells Trisha that ‘all customs that are followed are solely thought-of by us’ takes a clever dig at some of the ridiculous customs that are followed using the name of religion.
Arthur Wilson’s camera needs special mention. A breath-taking shot of the hero speaking, and in the background, a huge temple tower- it speaks volumes of his ability and intelligence. But the same cannot be said of Vidyasagar’s musical score, which stands out sorely. Save the melody that haunts you as you leave the movie hall, the other numbers are badly composed and do not deserve mention.
After a family-centered ‘Anandam’ and the action-packed ‘Run’, director Linguswamy has worked hard(and long) on a story that has a thought-provoking and inspiring idea behind it. Unfortunately, some shoddy screenplay and a poorly conceived climax ruins it.
Srinivasa Ramanujam
Machan, As the one and only Keanu Fan I know, I curse you to rot in hell.
Not even thalaivar is going to save you.
On a serious not, I so don’t want to see the movie. Most reviewers have damned it. 😦
Actually, Keanu is Constantine … utterly suicidal ,,, Why do such a bummer after Matrix. Beats me.
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