Review: Mere Jeevan Saathi

Cast: Akshay Kumar, Karisma Kapoor, Amisha Patel
Director: Suneel Darshan
Genre: Love triangle
Storyline: Vicky likes Anjali. Anjali likes Vicky. Natasha also likes
Vicky. Only one of them dies, contrary to your desires.
Bottomline: In one line, it’s a death-sentence.

There are two kinds of bad movies.
First, bad movies you can laugh at. They work as spoofs, for you love it when poorly directed bad actors ham like there’s no tomorrow.
Example: Movies like ‘Kisna,’ ‘Kyon Ki,’ and ‘Family.’
Second, bad movies that are so terribly forgettable that they offer no entertainment value whatsover, not even by accident. Example: Movies like ‘Mere Jeevan Saathi.’
The sort of movies talented actors like Gulshan Grover and Ashish Vidyarthi do only because they get paid obscene amounts of money.
Yes, ‘Mere Jeevan Saathi’ is the sort of movie you wouldn’t watch even at gun-point, a movie that could be seriously recommended as an alternative to capital punishment.
So forgettable that one had to take notes in the movie hall for the review.
Amisha Patel sporting mini-skirts stolen from a kiddie section makes Mallika Sherawat a class act. She plays Anjali, who has nothing else to do throughout the movie but keep mouthing cornball I-love-yous and I-miss-yous to her childhood sweetheart Vicky.
Vicky (Akshay Kumar) is an emerging popstar who is shown spending most of his time romancing the saccharine-oozing Anjali. By the way, Suneel Darshan’s idea of romance is letting the lovers roll around a park, one over the other and having them share an ice-cream with the camera zooming in for a close-up of that disgusting sight.
Vicky then goes to America for a show, during which he sleeps with his promoter Natasha (Karisma Kapoor), by “mistake”. Given that it happens during a song, you first think it’s just the obsessed Natasha’s fantasy. But only when you realise that it did actually happen that you realise what a bad movie ‘Mere Jeevan Saathi’ really is.
Then it turns out that Natasha had actually liked Vicky from the good old days in college when he used to sing songs like ‘Dil Kare Ding Dong,’ strumming his guitar with serious intensity, so what if the song does not have a lead guitar sound in it. No wonder that the judges boo him out. As he’s sitting in the canteen wondering what went wrong about the show, he gets an anonymous letter (written by Natasha
of course) asking him to use better lines and probably asking him not to play the chords only when the song has guitaring in it. Next thing you know, Vicky is an instant hit with the ‘Mere Jeevan Saathi’ song and wins the competition. He then wants to thank the mystery woman (Natasha) who almost shows up for the meeting but for the news that her Dad is dead.
When you see Natasha switching her table lamp on and off, you realise the flashback is over. Natasha is now obsessed with Vicky, follows him back to India, slashes her wrist and does other assorted psycho-thingies like dancing on broken glass before the predictably stale climax follows.
With an age-old triangle for a plot and hackneyed scenes recreated from the regressive cinema of the nineties, there is absolutely nothing about ‘Mere Jeevan Saathi’ that makes it worth your time, let alone money. Why would then anyone produce this trash?

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Review: Mere Jeevan Saathi

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