Ever noticed how women are choosy about friends?
Men just about bond with anybody and everybody. Men and women. Women are picky. Men do not stay away from women who aren’t that attractive or smart. Women are snooty.
Men do not assume that every girl who talks to them is hitting on them. Women can be so vain.
Men don’t see why they need a reason to be friends. Women need a reason.
They need to either find the guy intelligent or attractive or entertaining or helpful and caring and sensitive and all that you find the shopping for in matrimonial profiles and dating lists.
Isn’t it rather strange that most women try to find reasons to be friends after you break up with them? Of course, it is difficult for two people who loved each other to be friends even if one of them still loves the other. But once they’ve broken up or decided against a relationship, it’s probably because they don’t really love each other any more, or, at least one of them doesn’t love the other enough for the relationship to survive, and hence, it becomes a pointless one-sided exercise which one must get over before they can be friends.
But the point here is, once you are over it, it doesn’t take much to be friends. Unlike a relationship which requires people to share lives, time and space, friendship comes with no strings attached.
A friend wouldn’t even care if you don’t call him for a week. He knows you care even if you call him after two months. Because, for a man, being a friend is as simple as simply being there. Unconditionally.
Men are willing to be friends all the time. With anyone and everyone.
Can a woman dare say the same?
Dare? We wouldn’t dream of it. Of course we’re snooty about our friends. We have every right to be.
Friendships between women are very different from friendships between men. The most intense conversation I’ve seen between two men involved a certain scene from Star Wars.
Most of the time male bonding involves the sports channel, chips and beer. Guys rarely have deep meaningful relationships with each other.
Heck. Guys barely have conversations with each other — unless you count grunts and glugs as conversation.
Which probably explains why men need a ‘boys night out’ only once a month or so. Why telephone conversations between men rarely last more than five minutes. And why men always, and I mean always, want female company — whether it’s in the form of girlfriends or just girl buddies — no matter where they are.
Try looking for a straight man who will willingly go to an all male party and you’ll be circling the globe forever.
Women, on the other hand, love Girls Nights. And this is regardless of whether they’re pig-tailed horrors in flannel pyjamas encrusted with chocolate at a pyjama party; perfectly turned out, cocktail drinking hipsters at a nightclub, or dignified greying friends gathered around a card table sharing gossip and Darjeeling tea.
Because women truly enjoy each other’s company.
We do things together, whether it’s going for group beauty parlour binges or shoe shopping sprees. We make sincere efforts to keep in touch, even if it involves trans-Atlantic phone calls or taking a train, bus and autorickshaw to share a pot of tea. And we depend on each other, being supportive though break-ups and bad hair days.
Which is precisely why we’re picky about who we count among our friends. Because we need to have people we can count on. Not just go fishing with.
I agree with Shonali 🙂
Brilliant Shonali!!! This one was damn good!
I have alwayz liked Suderman’s posts better cuz it gives me an insight into the male psyche.. But this time sud’s was a dampener. Felt like he dint really mean th things he wrote.
And wot did u say sud… women befreind only men who are intelligent/smart/hepful/etc. Atleast they have wide options. But men lok for only two things – Either the girl should be sexy(read a curvaceous figure and revealing clothes)or should give him constant sex. eeehhh eeeehhh
True Shonali.. i alwayz wondered y men cant talk and bond the way women do. Men get together to smoke up, drink up, watch porn and sometimes to share very relevant important information, where as women can just go on an on from one thing to another.I wonder how men ever satisfy their innate need for emotional bonding. May be ttaz y mn are men and wmen are women!
i agree with the guy’s views, but the girl’s viewpoint is so cliched!!! in fact, it is so completely untrue in many ways!!!
guys may be less picky about who we befriend, and we don’t need a reason to be friends, but it’s not like we don’t bond. i have a few best friends, both guys and girls, and what i’ve noticed is that when guys bond with other guys, it’s usually in a group (while women tend to bond 1-1, a guy would never want to be seen with just one guy for an extended period of time – it just seems weird). we have our beer and chips, but that’s not what the bonding is about. and contrary to what you believe, we talk a lot. like for even 8 hours at a stretch (basically till the beer runs out or people start falling asleep). i’ve even spent nights out with my best friends sitting at a footpath and drinking tea and TALKING till it’s 5am!!!
but we guys also like to do stuff without talking…like going for long bike rides, swimming around in the sea, playing cricket or table tennis or whatever.
and you know what, men do bond emotionally. in fact, my male friends are on par with women as a reliable support system. while my female friends will talk me through my problems, my male friends will talk me through, and also BE there. and i mean travel across the city at 2am, take half a day off from work if required, whatever it may take. even take a few punches to get me out of a brawl.
of course, my longest phone call with a guy is “just” 4 hours, while the longest with a girl is 7 – but yeah, that’s much more than the 5 second calls you speak about.