Review: Aap Ki Khatir

The review below was NOT written by me.

I had asked my girlfriend if she could do it for me, just as a joke, of course. And guess what, she actually sent me this with the Subject: Sudhish Ki Khatir. As I get to work and type my review, here’s hers.

(How I wish my paper would print this, but for the language!)

Aap Ki khatir is a result of Dharmesh’s sudden urge to try his hand at comedy, coupled with inspiration from the average chick-flick “The Wedding Date”.

This movie is not a let down, it is the exact crap that you expect it to be. The plot is wafer thin, and the slip-shod screenplay makes no effort to save it. While the stray educated person might have an contemptuous attitude towards the jokes in the first half, the average dumb movie goer seems to lap it up.

The shithead sitting next to me guffawed long and hard for every joke. Yes loser, I’m sure your efforts will be well appreciated by the lazy untalented cast and crew. But even the seth audience did not like the steep ride downhill that the second half of the movie made.

The film revolves around Priyanka Chopra, who is returning to London for the wedding of her step sister(Amisha Patel) to an obviously desperate and horny Suniel Shetty. Or is she going there to make her ex-boyfriend jealous by hiring Akshay Khanna to pose as her new boyfriend? I’m sorry, I wasn’t really taking notes while I was undergoing the torture of actually having to watch this wannabe urban( read Hum Tum) meets marriage musical(read any Sooraj Barjatya’s hash).

The rest is a love story with so many angles to it, that it actually becomes a giddy circle of deceit and drama that doesn’t work, because it’s roots are based on predictability. The crescendo to the climax makes you yawn, squirm in your seat and check your watch a million times.

Akshaye Khanna’s sincere delivery of his lines almost wants to make you say that his acting was not bad. Almost. It was bad and overdone.

Amisha Patel’s awkward hamming has been tried to hide under heavy eye make up and distractingly loud clothes. Didn’t work, we noticed both and can’t decide which we hated more.

Priyanka Chopra looked like a cotton candied butterfly, and tried to flit through her scenes with what was supposed to be charming effervescense. The only thought that kept running through our head every second she was on screen was “How on earth did they pick her to act in Don?!”

There’s also a cleavage flaunting sex siren who has displayed the worst stomach (with post-delivery stretch marks!) on celluloid.

Dino Morea’s performance is forgettable. I didn’t think I could be less impressed with Suniel Shetty. I was wrong.

Lillete Dubey is her usual slutty mom self, while Anupam Kher makes an attempt to say his bad lines well.

Himmesh Reshammiya’s music makes you want to make a cat howl into a tin can and compare the two.

The Punjabi Vs. Gujarati wedding gathering reminds you of its far superior execution in Kal Ho Na Ho.

In an attempt to revive the drowsy audience they’ve strategically placed the title in every other line. So much so that the anti-climax revolves around stale puns on it like “Baap Ki Khatir”. Yes, I’ll wait. Puke and come back.

Anyway, Akshay gets Priyanka, Amisha marries Suniel, Dino had had an affair with Amisha and yeah that’s about it,

If you have to watch this movie, don’t. If you don’t have to, don’t bother reading any other reviews. You’ve wasted enough time on it already.

Warning: this review may contain spoilers. 😀

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Review: Aap Ki Khatir

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