Love Story 2050: When Harry Puttar met Darth Vader

Genre: Fantasy
Director: Harry Baweja
Cast: Harman Baweja, Priyanka Chopra, Boman Irani, Darth Vader, the Dasavatharam Butterfly
Storyline: A Hrithik Roshan look-alike has to use his uncle’s time machine to go into the future and bring his reincarnated lover back to the present.
Bottomline: If this is what love/story/2050 looks like, kill me now… I want to be reincarnated.

Of course, an epic love story of this magnitude cannot be condensed in to 200-paltry-odd minutes. Here are some of the deleted scenes:

a. Two hundred years later when he goes back to the future again because Priyanka has been hit by a bout of lightning for bad acting (when the usual trucks fail, God has to try harder) Harman finally meets the mysterious bald man… Darth Vader removes the mask and announces: “Look, I am your father.” It’s Rakesh Roshan himself. A light-saber fight between Harry Baweja and Rakesh Roshan will be held in public view to promote the sequel Love Saga 2250 ahead of its release.

b. Priyanka Chopra as Zeisha comes back to 2008 and on the suhaag raat, Harman finds out: It’s a boy! Like all the other surprises he had faced in 2050, Harman realises that this too doesn’t change the fact that he still loves Zeisha. God shakes his head (a Rishi Kapoor-look-alike maybe) in a final bid to end the film, sends down that bolt of lightning blissfully unaware that He was going to pave the way for the sequel.

c. The folks at South Australian Tourism board originally wanted more shots of the Aussie hospitality. When Harman knocks down a packet of chips and is chased by a bunch of vengeful guys, remember one of them was wearing T-shirt that said ‘Angry’? A sub-plot involving his pal wearing a T-shirt that says: ‘I cannot climb walls’ was deleted for pace and also to suggest that the hero here was smarter than the average Australian because he could climb and escape. To showcase Aussie hospitality further, Harry retained the scene where Harman dares Priyanka to shoplift and she does so successfully. Another scene effectively highlights the hi-tech butterfly-aided Aussie transport system that shows stalkers stranded on the railway platform which exact station their victim would disembark.

d. There’s a Hrithik Roshan look-alike contest in Sydney where the real Hrithik Roshan decides to show-up for a crowd-pleasing cameo. He loses to Harman because the Harry’s Puttar is more Hrithik than Hrithik himself. After all, he has five perfectly normal fingers to show and at no point does Harman let his I’m-a-seriously-sincere-actor-forever-conscious-of-the-camera guard down. And, these critics say Harman is bad. He’s not a bad actor at all, just an obsessed petty thief… By the way, Hrithik still wants the clothes and accessories from his wardrobe back.

e. The visual effects department has come up with an Academy-award-worthy job. They’ve not only made Harman look like Hrithik, they’ve also created equally gay robots QT (E.T’s distant lesbian cousin) and teddy bear Boo (a sexually confused teddy that finds itself attracted to QT and often does things that make Priyanka spank her or something like that). The endorsement of same-sex attraction is the kind of stuff children’s films of the future are made up of. There’s also a close-up shot of Harman’s delightfully gay admirer during the ‘It’s Magic, It’s Magic’ song. Because of copyright hassles, this song had to be reshot and further de-composed.

f. The dialogue ‘I don’t need luck, I have love’ was deleted after the tenth time. It originally appeared 2040 more times but Harry decided it would be too much of a good thing and has saved it for the sequels. The scripting team has received a bonus after 2050’s cool lingo… ‘Eat Ice,’ ‘You need an upgrade,’ ‘Stop your verbal schabang’ and ‘Snip it’ caught on right from the first show. With critics heaping lavish praise on the ‘Your life is a hot dog without the sausage’ line, more gems like “A hungry mouth needs a banana” and “When you are not engaged and getting any, put your phone on vibrate” have been saved for the sequel.

Because of further space constraints, the rest will be made available on a 2050-disc special edition. This fascinating, charming little film is exactly the kind you should feed your friends to. What are friends for, if not to share such joy.. When time stood still for a film on time travel.