Genre: Action
Director: Puneet Sira
Cast: Fardeen Khan, Kunal Khemu, Dia Mirza, Arbaaz Khan, Anjana Sukhani
Storyline: Two boy friends go to Bangkok (one to catch the other) and they take a road trip back with gay abandon. Ahem! And there are handcuffs involved.
Bottomline: A hardcore guy on guy action film.
Fardeen Khan is smiling.
He has never got a single good review all his life but there’s been no dearth of films or offers. Apparently, producers seem to think he’s ridiculously good-looking that they have begun to invent reasons to justify why his character doesn’t need to act.
In Jai Veeru, because of a head injury, Jai’s mind-body coordination is apparently fractured. And Fardeen gets away with staring as an art form.
Jai Veeru is either a silly entendre filled action film or a fascinating study of repression and alternative sexuality. Here’s why.
Like most Boy-meets-Boy stories, mechanic Jai (Fardeen) meets con-man Veeru (Kunal Khemu) at a bar and the two strike a special dostana – the kind of bond where they find it difficult to live without the other. Even the repressed Veeru tries to go out with a girl, Jai shows up to ruin it.
Veeru in complete denial confronts Jai asking him: Meri Kyon Li? (Why did you take my trip?) before breaking into song and dance, wearing bling, beads on his hair and jewellery.
Thanks to a twist borrowed from The Departed, we find out that Jai is an Inspector, an undercover cop (he has been inspecting what Veeru’s been doing under the covers) and has slowly fallen for him.
“Don’t get confused, Jai,” the chief of police warns him. “Our priority is Tejpal.”
Who’s Tejpal?
Tejpal is a shuddh-Hindi speaking gangster (Arbaaz Khan) who later quizzes the duo about their relationship. While Veeru says he would give his life for Jai, Jai says he could kill for Veeru. Not unconvinced, Arbaaz pulls Jai’s shirt down to check for hidden microphones but ends up examining his chest hair.
In the encounter that follows, Veeru accidentally shoots Jai right on the forehead and escapes to Bangkok. But thankfully (quite unfortunately, for us though), Jai does not have a brain and the doctors are able to fix him up with just a metal plate and a slender nurse Dia Mirza.
But his thoughts are elsewhere. “Teri yaadien mujhe tadpathi hai,” (Your memories torture me) he sings. He has Dia walking and prancing around, tempting him, looking hot and sultry but his life is still like the desert he’s walking in.
“Main tumhare liye kya kuch nahin kiya Jai… Humare beech Veeru aa raha hai,”(What did I not do for you? But Veeru is between us) she tells him and he finally comes to terms with what he wants. He wants to go to Bangkok and nail Veeru.
Fardeen gets his way as the friends reunite and bond. Kunal flirtatiously bends away from him and farts playfully before Tejpal’s gunmen open fire.
Jai Veeru board the plane running, without realising the pilot’s been shot dead and the petrol tank punctured with bullets. A one-time pilot-trainee Veeru asks if there are any petrol pumps on the way. The fans outside the plane stop. And instead of turning the air-conditioning on, Jai panics screaming “May Day, May Day” into the walkie talkie. And Veeru gets to say the only joke in the film, “Abey yeh May nahin, June chal raha hai.” (This is not May, this is June.)
After Veeru safely crash lands, Jai gives him a head-banging (to remind him about the metal plate on his forehead). The strange bedfellows check into a honeymoon suite in a Bangkok hotel called Moon Light Green Wood as a board in the frame suggests that the hotel has Happy hour rates. Ahem!
The next morning, Veeru wakes up rubbing his chest and asking Jai: “Tu aadmi hai ya jaanwar.” (You a man or an animal?)
They watch a man-on-man wrestling match and wonder if the laal chaddi would win or the peeli chaddi and realise how much they missed being bum chums themselves.
Veeru looks tragically at the handcuffs that had come between them. Soon, there’s action on the bed, one gets mounts the other.
The film builds to a climax that suggests that women can’t be trusted. And Jai lets Veeru go, giving him a watch that would hopefully remind him about their time together.
If Dostana was about two straight boys pretending to be gay, Jai-Veeru does exactly the opposite.
There are only four reasons why you would end up watching Jai Veeru.
1. You have a metal plate in your head.
2. You are into S&M, and are handcuffed to the seat.
3. You wanted a place to make out with your boyfriend and you are a guy.
4. You have a job that requires you to review this film.
MADRAS INK. 
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