1. In other words, how to lose friends and irritate people on the internet. Depending on your social aspirations and how desperate you are for attention, you can either be anonymous or adopt a nickname that would be associated with your notoriety. The most foolish trolls usually use their own name/blog for heckling, thus becoming victims of trolling themselves.
2. A troll is like the scum of the internet. The purpose of his existence is to challenge the hero and play pest/spoilsport/critic/villain/supervillain by constantly attempting to discredit, rubbish, criticise all of the hero’s attempts. To be a troll, you need not have any argument or merit, just a string of abuses targeted towards your object of obsession does the trick and gets you noticed. All a troll needs is attention. And you should get it no matter what it takes.
3. Employ social media. On Twitter, refer to all your targets with their handles. On Facebook, send friend requests to every other popular person you find and once they add you, attack them directly on their Wall, offering unsolicited criticism about their work/behaviour/profile/photos. Also threaten to remove them from your list if they can’t take criticism.
4. Once blocked, identify common friends with your target and post your inflammatory content on their Walls. If anyone objects, swear by your freedom of speech and expression. Never mind that Facebook is a network of friends, pretend and insist it is a public forum. When blocked, add the common friend to your hate list.
5. Remember that what you do could get you arrested. Only the stupidest of trolls harass women. Remember, your IP is always traceable by the police and the Cyber Crime department does have the authority to make social networks, blogs and even email service providers share details of your usage once you’ve crossed the line and done anything illegal.
(The author is an expert troll and deals with many on a daily basis. This column originally appeared here.)
MADRAS INK. 
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