No IIPM updates here, go away!
Cast: Cole Hauser, Morris Chestnut, Eddie Cibrian and assorted freshers.
Director: Bruce Hunt
Genre: Monster/ thriller
Storyline:What could it be? 😛
Bottomline: Enter at your own risk.
Do flying creatures that munch humans for lunch still excite you?
Hollywood never seems to get tired of mean old monster movies.
The Cave is just an assembly-line export reject, hoping to find takers in a CAS-inflicted regime in Chennai where STAR Movies and HBO come at a premium. But that’s taking optimism too far. For, movie channels give you one such monster film every day a month for the same price of a cinema ticket.
‘The Cave’ is, at best, a crash course on monster movies for dummies.
Cast: Get some guys who’ve done supporting roles in some popular movies. Get guys who don’t mind getting killed after a minute or two and women who look good and scream well. Also one black American to make sure its representative of population, it keeps the brothers happy.
Storyline: A bunch of people venture into a ______ (insert title of the film here… example Haunted Mansion, Deep Blue Sea, Jurassic Park or just say “place” if the title of the film is a creature) only to end up as lunch for ______ (insert name of monster… example Anaconda, Jaws, Godzilla, Aliens, Predator, etc). But for the main guy and the girl (and sometimes, just one more friend) everybody else becomes a part of the monster buffet. And even after they escape, the monsters surface before the end credits to announce a sequel.
1. Monsters are huge, toad ugly motherfukkers.
2. They have irregular eating habits, eat humans anytime they please, especially towards the second half.
3. Monsters like their food raw. They eat humans without peeling the skin or the clothes off them.
4. Monsters have short term memory loss. They often forget to make an appearance, especially during bonding and feel good scenes.
5. They are all psychotic, make funny noises that sound like mating calls but are rarely shown having sex. Or indulging in any romantic moment. They do love to eat women but not the way you think.
6. You never find monster crap in movies cuz monsters look very similar, plus there’s a possibility that eaten man/woman finds an exit from the rear.
Treatment: Hire a game addict and give him a deadline of 100 minutes to write a script. All he needs to do is to transcribe a monster videogame.
Get a visual effects guy for a director. People go to watch a monster movie for the effects. Nothing else matters. Or at least that’s what the makers of this film seem to believe. To director Bruce Hunt’s credit, the visual effects for ‘The Cave’ do rock.
But for that, there’s no other reason to venture in.
And yes, if you’re still hunting for IIPM related blogs, you certainly do need admission into The Cave along with… maybe a back-to-back Double Bill with ‘Grudge,’ the movie I would gladly send anyone I have one against. Grudge, in fact, has a burping ghost.
Yes, announcement: Kisna is no longer the worst film made, it’s got to be the Grudge! By miles.
The Grudge is adrenaline and hence good. If you pay for someone you have one against to go and watch it, …
At last, one more voice which says “Enough of this IIPM-Rahsmi-the IBM resigned dude Mania”
I stopped reading other blogs for a week now; everybody were just charged up and blogging support, hate and sentimental crap.
From the start, I didn’t understand what all the buzz was all about. Some babe reported something on her site about a dubious (?) educational institute, a dude refers about in his blog, the institute threatens legal action and boy, the blogworld goes berserk. Why was this normal everyday defamation suit blown out of proportion? Hey, no one would have bothered if Rashmi had been a print media person and wrote about it in some magazine and IIPM had sent a printed notice. Guess it happens everyday to publishers.
So Why all the sensation ? It wasn’t that IIPM sent out a mail to the blogging community threatening to sue bloggers as a whole? Why didn’t Rashmi go to the authorities with her observations ? Why would a dude quit his job in IBM bcos of some sentiments? Assume he joins MS next, would he quit again if the students threaten to switch over to Linux from Windows? Sensationalism or a clever job-changing strategy? A Mark Jen inspired act?
What’s funny is that except the rest of the bloggers screaming hoarse, both R & G haven’t posted about this much last week. If they were so offended by the IIPM mail, why didn’t they go to court? After all, they had the wholesome support of about 58,171 bloggers.
I dunno….somthing very fishy here that most of us have missed…
Sorry, got carried away….
Cheers and Keep the paty alive
thanks for the warning signs…will not enter the cave or have grudge against anyone…want to watch “lord of war”…if possible go and see and give a review…long time that I watched a dishum-dishum movie with guns…one more thing to add…it has the AR Rehman’s “Bombay” theme music…listed in its soundtracks…finally one more music bit in hollywood from Indian movies after “Chamma Chamma”…of course they copy with copyright unlike Anu mallik or sometimes ARR itslef who think “Copying is their birth right”…danks for adding me as a Suderbuddy…
Ohmigod !! u saw it too ??
“the grudge”…definitely one of the worst..if not worst-est !!
and the end ?? what was that ?? i mean..thats it ? thats all ?? what ? how ? why ??
“burping ghost”-good one…
ppl unfortunate enuf to have been conned by over-eager-half-americanised-and-jap-stuff-is-uber-kewl roomies will understand and sympathise..
Personally i like Cole Hauser (http://www.most-wanted-movies.com/star/Cole-Hauser.aspx). See his filmography at Most Wanted Movies.