Genre: Masala
Director: Vivek Sharma
Cast: Jackky Bhagnani, Vaishalee Desai, Rishi Kapoor, Rahul Dev, Archana Puran Singh
Storyline: Soothsaying love child of Uday Chopra and Bugs Bunny comes to Mumbai and finds a bomb standing above a bomb kept by evil villains
Bottomline: Even if this were the last movie released before an apocalypse… Actually, especially if it’s the last film you’ll ever see, don’t!
An ancient Tamil saying approximately translates to: “For a crow, its baby is a golden baby.” But alas, Vashu Bhagnani, born in a different culture, never got this valuable insight.
So, he errs by repeating an old Bollywood mistake, throwing good money after bad.
Instead of cutting losses after taking a good look at his kid, he has actually invested more in really launching his old production. Maybe the word is unleashing.
Jackky (spelt with two Ks) Bhagnani who looks like the love child of Uday Chopra and Bugs Bunny is the latest to join the “Mere Paas Baap Hai” club and the only good thing about this film is his co-star and grand niece of Manmohan Desai, Vaishalee (spelt with two Es) Desai, who will make you hunt for her Kingfisher calendar picture online.
Kal Kissne Dekha is set in a typical Bollywood college. The type where Hip-hop dancers rehearse their somersaults 24×7. It’s that kind of college where students always that turn up to cheer any stupid contest and seniors mess with the newcomer hero by testing his gym skills. And yes, it’s that sort of classroom where juniors and seniors then sit in the same class almost next to each other and are introduced to Newton and gravity… only at the college level.
Sitcom ‘Friends’ fans may remember Joey Tribbiani toast during the Monica-Chandler wedding (his an excuse to demonstrate his “acting” skills to the Broadway producer in the audience). Joey recalls that he was first “angry” (Oh! Why God Why?), then, he remembered some happy memories (he “laughs”), some sad memories (he “sobs”) and some scared memories (he “jumps in fright”) – and he realized he will always be their friend: “A friend who can speak in many dialects, has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity.”
That’s exactly what Jackky does in this film.
Director Vivek Sharma sets it up an excuse for Jackky to show us that he can feel at home in a village like Chandigarh (!) or a city like Mumbai… He can lift weights, he can kick ball, race on dirt bikes and has a heart big enough to save the bad guys. He can dance with bikini babes at beachside foam parties or stage shows, drink like a fish, save a girl from drowning and do mouth to mouth (but won’t because of his upbringing) and is dutiful enough to drop her back, even if he’s drunk and can win over her parents.
All so bad that Sanjay Dutt disappears after giving a single shot, Juhi Chawla scoots abruptly, thanks to a bomb scare and Rishi Kapoor hides under a hideous wig. Poor Riteish Deshmukh decides to give karma its due and consents to do a comedy track to launch a VIP son.
But poor Riteish is wasted really because the real laughs come from Rishi Kapoor and later, Dalip Tahil when he reacts to Jackky’s admission that he can see the future. The police chief is just waiting to believe this cock and bull tale of soothsaying, jumps in delight and says: “This is fantastic. Tell me more.”
The biggest laugh comes in the climax when Jackky does a John McLane approved Die Hard stunt. Remember how John killed a chopper using a car in the last edition of the franchise? Well, this one beats that. By a mile.
If Uday Chopra, Tusshar Kapoor, Fardeen Khan and Harman Baweja can all find work even today, chances are that Jackky too would.
Kal Kissne Dekha? Well, the movie isn’t going to be that lucky. It won’t see tomorrow.
MADRAS INK. 
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