In the latest He Says She Says column, Shonali and me have fought over New Year resolutions. Just to line to tell you guys that it has been updated on the blog.
Posts By sudhishkamath
Episode 13: New Year Resolutions!
She Says:
The clock struck twelve. The champagne popped open. The lights went out. Fireworks exploded. And then, people began to discuss their new years resolutions.
Someone talked of saving money. Someone else swore to turn vegan. Start exercising. Stop buying shoes. Start writing home. Stop getting drunk. Start helping out at an animal welfare centre. Stop complaining about work.
There’s something so profoundly inspiring about the New Year at midnight.
Are women are better at keeping new year’s resolutions that men?
Maybe.
Are women more likely to make New Year’s resolutions? Oh yeah.
Women always work on changing the way they are. While their male counterparts dunk their faces into the party punch, they’ll plan to work out and detox, start computer classes and learn driving.
If the men make resolutions they’re more likely to plot for cushier circumstances: a bigger car, heftier salary, more powerful job.
Women want all these things too. But when it comes to resolutions, they tend to focus on more personal things: writing more letters to friends, spending more time with their families, keeping a cat. They also realise that resolutions aren’t a wish list to Santa, and keep their goal realistic. Well, ok. Semi-realistic at least.
Now, nobody’s asking you to become one of those cloyingly cheerful types that hits the sack at 7 p.m. with dabs of anti-wrinkle cream under their eyes, so they can start their yoga at 4 a.m.
But making a resolution, and not necessarily a New Year’s R, is not always a bad thing. Those Mercs make their way to your garage eventually, if you work hard enough, and are smart enough.
But if you don’t at least attempt to make to work on yourself, you might just be the fat guy in a sloppy T-shirt that takes delivery of the vehicle.
Alone.
He Says:
There are two ways to spend a moment.
Either spend it instantly — fresh and live — celebrating every ounce of the present.
Or waste it designing, planning or figuring out the future.
Men do it the first way because they don’t feel the need to remind themselves to write letters to friends (when they can just call the bugger), spend time with families (duh? Isn’t that what they do when they are bumming around at home, when the woman is away shopping?) or to keep a cat (for what joy?).
What are resolutions anyways but a things-to-do for the future?
What if the biggest-thing-to-do is life itself?
What if the larger resolution is just to be happy!
The resolutions men make are just more attempts at the sky and reach the tree-top. Men do aim big, you know. They are more imaginative, they do want Santa to keep his job and keep the faith alive in this growingly cynical world.
Besides, men don’t wake up praying to God saying: Oh God, send me my Merc.
They wake up grinning about what they did last night and proceed to things that are right in front of them. They enjoy the present, savour it it to the fullest and live life moment-to-moment.
When one step at a time does take them places, why would they waste precious moments speculating how many steps it takes and then some more frequently comparing if they are as per schedule, in sync with earlier plans?
Yeah, it’s not the destination that matters for men. Or calculating how to get there. It’s the journey of taking different routes, driving different cars or just exploring the vibrant walks of life.
A fat guy in a sloppy T-shirt is a man at peace with himself. He can help himself to yet another beer without having the need to watch his paunch, eat a few more chocolates and make the buffet true value for money. And maybe some day, he would wake up for the walk to the gym.
And hey, not all those who are alone are lonely. The explorers that men are, some like to keep their baggage light.
Besides, it’s more fun driving a different Merc everyday, just to go see the face of the loser — the loser who just spent half a fortune to stick to one Merc just to drive his pampered wife to work and back, with an annoying cat in the backseat. The loser who will probably spend the rest of his life writing letters to friends.
Bound.
Statement of Purpose 2006
Having skateboarded through life all these years, today I stand at this point where I have less than 400 days to go before I turn 30.
Year-ends make for great introspection. That time of the year when you get nostalgic. You get together with buddies, think about the New years you spent together, things you resolved about and the hyper-enthusiasm with which you fondly once used to welcome the New Year with.
This year, when we saw two drunk men on a motorcycle scream “Happy New Year” to each other, we couldn’t understand what the revelry and happiness was all about. That, clearly, was a sign. We were getting old. We were asking questions, questioning the very purpose of celebration.
Because, there are no answers to such questions. You just celebrate. It’s that simple.
These men were happy about something. Happy about nothing in particular, but life in general. For them, it was the beginning of a new chapter of their lives. They, like most of us, truly believed that life had something beautiful in store for them. It was that psychological device that helped them put their past behind and start afresh.
As a kid, you never questioned that. You never questioned your existence. Never questioned purpose. It was all as simple as: I want to be a pilot and fly planes. Or I want to be a doctor and save lives. Or I want to be an engineer and build homes. Or I want to join the army. Or be a journalist. Or, to speak for the current generation, be a CEO or a COO of a software/IT/BPO multi-national company.
But is succeeding in being what you choose to be the very purpose of existence?
I’m not sure.
Because, from where I stand today, I have done reasonably well for myself as a journalist and not bad for a struggling filmmaker, managing to shoot my first film, twice, irrespective of the limitations and challenges it faced. I also know have a rough roadmap of what I want to do, what I call a vision statement. But is that “vision statement” the purpose of my life?
I really do not know.
Though it may sound too early to talk about a “vision statement” when I’m still hardly famous and have a long way to go, I do like to dream aloud, just to give it some shape and clarity.
I want to finish That Four Letter Word this year and sell it for what it’s worth. I want to pay and repay every single person who has been a part of this project the first time and the second.
I want to market it good enough to produce my second film. I want to begin work on a Hindi film though I already have my second film script ready to shoot. That would help avoid being slotted as a low-budget/independent/English/ digital/ filmmaker. Also to break predictability.
But the biggest reason behind my Hindi film is to say something that I have always wanted to say: A statement of purpose for movies. My love-letter to movies. It has to be on film, it needs to have that larger than life feel and a story that will hopefully move and encourage people to dream. It is my tribute to movies, a call for fresh thought, an effort to bring honesty onto celluloid and an experiment that hopes to prove exactly what the movie will try to say. Bringing honesty into films. On and off the screen.
If that experiment works, as I hope it to, I want to build that non-profit organisation that will produce every original filmmaker’s first movie. Anyone who has a script with a story never ever told before can walk in and get his movie funded and also avail the pool of actors, scriptwriters and technicians enrolled with the foundation — people committed to doing good cinema, even if they are going to be paid peanuts.
I just want to make one film every year or two, just making films that really are screaming to be made. I’m sure I would be happier spending the rest of my life doing that part that inspires what movies are made of: Life, itself.
At this point, let me “cut back” from the vision statement to the original idea behind the post: the purpose. So is a vision statement good enough to be the statement of purpose for life?
Again, I do not think so. Because, it is rather difficult to determine the purpose. But I intend to find it.
And the only way to find it, I guess, is to live it. Though space, through time and with people who occupy that time and space with you.
Given that we explore time by default, I want to explore space. I want to travel around the world, learn a little more about it, understand people but more than all that, I just want someone to share it all with.
This year, I intend to find a companion for that exciting journey, however long or short, happy or sad, sober or adventurous, it may be. I want someone to fight with, someone to talk to, someone to sleep with, someone to wake up with every morning and be truly happy that THAT someone is just the same person. I want that someone who would stick through this little adventure and I figure the only way I would find her would be by willing to stick myself. I have always been commitment-phobic, I have always wanted to be free.
But this year, I do not want to be free anymore. I want to share. Because, now I figure, life becomes larger when you share it with someone you really love. I’m right here, right now, waiting for her.
Actually, I can’t wait to be with her anymore.
My personal favourites 2005
Everybody have their own choices, here are mine.
Suddies 2005
Movie of the year (Tamil): Chandramukhi
Movie of the year (Hindi): Iqbal
Movie of the year (English): King Kong
Best director (Tamil): Balaji Sakthivel (for Kaadhal)
Best director (Hindi): Nagesh Kukunoor (Iqbal)
Best director (English): Peter Jackson (King Kong)
Most promising director (Tamil): Priya (Kanda Naal Mudhal)
Most promising director (Hindi): Jijy Philip (My Wife’s Murder)
Most promising director (English): Pass (not seen enough of debutant Hollywood directors)
Best actor award (Tamil): Prasanna (for Kanda Naal Mudhal)
Best actress award (Tamil): Sandhya (for Kaadhal)
Best actor award (Hindi): Amitabh Bachchan (for Viruddh)
Best actress award (Hindi): Sweta Prasad (for Iqbal)
Best actor award (English): Kong… he he!
Best actress award (English): Naomi Watts … okay, Im biased! But its my awards!
Best producer award (Tamil): Prakash Raj
Best producer award (Hindi): Ram Gopal Varma
The Phoenix prize: Superstar
Midas touch award: Vijay, Suriya
Midas touch award (Hindi): Akshay Kumar, Abhishek Bachchan
Midas touch award (English): Peter Jackson
Biggest loser award: Vikram (terrible Anniyan, even worse Maja, but hey! Anniyan at least made money)
Biggest loser award (Hindi): Salman, Saif (stop wearing Pink, dude!)
Biggest loser award (English): The guy who was insane enuff to produce ‘The Grudge‘
Worst movie (Tamil): Oru Naal Oru Kanavu
Worst movie (Hindi): Kisna
Worst movie (English): The Grudge, of course
Originality award (Tamil): Mirattal Adi (Dubbed version of Kung Fu Hustle)
Originality award: Jointly goes to Vinod Pande for Sins (er… originality finding excuses for sex scenes) and Subhash Ghai for Kisna (for finding excuses to get the white chick in the film take her clothes off in the movie)
Originality award (English): Stephan Chow’s Kung Fu Hustle
Copycat award (Tamil): Shankar (for plagiarising from his own earlier works)
Copycat award (Hindi): Vivek Agnihotri for Chocolate (for ripping off even lines verbatim from Usual Suspects)
Copycat award (English): Hideo Nakata for Ring 2 (and selling his soul to Hollywood)
Best reviewer (Hindi): Tough choice between Baradwaj Rangan and rediff’s Raja Sen.
Best movie blog: Lazy Geek
Episode 12: Clash over supermodels
He says:
I’m tired of people saying supermodel women are dumb.
Come on, women think men, who have a sense of humour, rule. Does that mean every man with no sense of humour is a loser? I think models with great bodies rock.
They are certainly among the most intelligent women ever created. They are management gurus really.
Models really do their SWOT analysis pretty early in life. SWOT, if you are not a model or a management person, means a detailed review of your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats.
Strengths: Their basic natural resources. What God blessed them with and what they can possibly boost up with man-made technology with a little investment? They know the short cut to success: showbiz, which has very basic eligibility criteria. Their basic intelligence tells them they can put the rest of it (the intelligence, that is) to better use, in real life projects that have to do with the actual application of beauty.
Formula one: Beauty plus attitude equals sexy.
Weaknesses: They know that whatever they do, they are going to be considered `bimbos’ because they are so hot. So they decide to ignore what other women and loser-men think. And capitalise on their weakness too. They play dumb.
Because, formula two goes: beauty plus dumbness, for any man, is cute.
Opportunities: Training that does not cost as much as your management degree would. They just need a cat around and follow its footsteps. This walk comes in handy, because it not only helps you climb the corporate ladder in the long run because beauty pageants are called personality contests and winning one does make you an official authority on Mother Teresa and a messiah of social consciousness. So even after retirement as a model, the catwalk would help in climbing up the corporate escalator.
Formula three: Beauty, plus purpose and personality, means project leader/marketing head.
Threats: Other women. And THAT, they can deal with. Because, the competition is really not that much and the world, is surely, more than enough for all of them to rule.
Formula four: Beauty plus beauty, is, a joy forever.
She says:
I’m tired of people saying that supermodels are dumb.
But for completely different reasons.
I don’t think women with great bodies `rock.’ As for male models, they’re not even tempting. Which woman wants to share her hair products and under eye creams. Or be elbowed out of her mirror-space every morning and evening. Besides, there’s something distinctly eerie about a man who uses more makeup than you do.
But supermodels. You have got to hand it to them. They do a pretty good job of working on what they’ve got. Though, of course, only a man could say it’s done with `a little investment.’
I hate to break this to you guys, but those girls on the cover of glossy magazines didn’t just tumble into the photo studio straight from… um… management class. Their hair’s been coloured, straightened, tinted, glossed, styled and sprayed. Their pouts are often perfected in expensive clinics. Their teeth are whitened, their noses tweaked. They have personal trainers, beauticians, masseurs, shoppers…
Not that it matters, really. It’s tough work, and if it pays off, it’s worth it. Otherwise, you’re just a pretty girl standing in line with a whole lot of other pretty girls at some lecherous B-grade producer’s office. Especially if you’re not the brightest lipstick in the make-up tray, and therefore can’t plot, plan and claw your way to the top. (The only way you can catwalk up a ladder is if you are actually a cat.)
Not surprisingly, real women don’t hate models. So that spirited defence of them and their management skills is really quite unnecessary.
We think they’re nice to look at too. And they make brilliant clothes hangers. And we’d be the first to complain if men started running around trees with each other in soggy songs and dance scenes in the movies.
But — and I think I speak for a large number of women — we wouldn’t want to be them.
It’s means too much hard work. And too few chocolate covered doughnuts.
Because, beauty plus beauty isn’t really that much fun.
Review: Bole Toh… Mr.India ban gaya Ghost!
Cast: Sanjay Dutt, Shahid Kapoor, Amrita Rao, Prem Chopra, Arshad Warsi
Director: Mahesh Manjrekar
Genre: Fantasy
Storyline: ‘Ghost’ becomes Mr.India in the guise of Men in Black to save his gang from ‘Koi Mil Gaya,’ thanks to Munnabhai…ooops Yamraaj M.A.
Bottomline: Too many flicks spoil the mix.
First, some one tell Shahid Kapur that he is not Shah Rukh Khan.
For, he seems to be convinced that he IS Shah Rukh Khan trapped inside Pankaj Kapoor’s son.
Starting with Shahid, there is absolutely nothing original about ‘Vaah! Life Ho To Aisi’.
The movie begins with a Mr.India-like household full of naughty kids. After the man of the house, Adi (Shahid) dies in an accident leaving behind his love Piya (Amrita Rao), he becomes the ‘Ghost’ who tries to kick the Pepsi can, until a medium (Arshad Warsi) decides to help him
out.
‘Ghost,’ with a little help from Hanuman Chalisa, becomes ‘Mr.India’ who protects his kids and family from Mogambo’s goons from the original, with nods to Men in Black, E.T and Koi Mil Gaya. There’s also Sanjay Dutt as Yamraaj with an identity crisis and a liking towards alcohol. Sometimes, Mr.Yamraaj talks in poor Brit English, sometimes he becomes ‘Munnabhai MBBS’ and sometimes he just becomes a pale shadow of the actor he used to be until last year,
doing yet another terrible comic act after ‘Shaadi No.1’. So much that when the actor plays himself in the end, you just cannot tell the difference.
But to the movie’s credit, it does have a few genuine laughs in store, thanks to Dutt and Warsi, who rely on the ‘tapori’ act to make it watchable. As a result, towards the end, the whole movie has a ‘Munnabhai’ hangover.
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Sprinkles of Indian mythology is not enough to rescue a plot derived from over a dozen fantasy movies. The biggest problem with ‘Vaah’ is that after the Shahid-turned-Shah Rukh Khan-turns into Mr.India, there is no problem whatsoever. Even Mr.India was visible in red light. But
here, there is no conflict, nothing to stop the superhero. There is no powerful Mogambo.
This largely wannabe movie has Shahid wanting to be Shah Rukh, Mahesh Manjrekar wanting to make another Mr.India and Sanjay Dutt wanting to remind people he was their lovable Munnabhai.
Only kids (really young children who do not care much for a plot) keen to watch special effects would dig this movie on a lazy afternoon.
Selvaraghavan, can you spell social responsibility?
I was just listening to the Pudhupettai soundtrack.
Must say it is quite ambitious with orchestra music and all that, but it has adequate punch to cater to the front benchers too — his staple.
It’s one of those tracks that totally worries me, cuz I really like the sound. It’s definitely gonna be on the lips of every rowdy and roadside romeo, the kinds who hang out leching at women outside women’s colleges, sing riotously inside city buses or outside movie halls.
As if sexual harassment understated as eve-teasing wasn’t a menace enough, now Yuvan and Selvaraghavan come up with a peppy and upbeat “Variya” (supposedly picturised on ‘Night Life’), a song guaranteed to be an instant favourite among the city’s sidiest bunch…
What irks me is that Selvaraghavan is a pretty talented director with great potential … Very few understand the middle class like he does, very few succeed in telling stories of normal people and intense relationships, very few command the respect of stars, technicians and producers alike … But to quote the cliche, with great power comes great responsibility … something this juvenile delinquent does not understand.
A few months ago, I said why 7G Rainbow Colony was a wrong good movie. Yes. Wrong and good.
I suspect Selvaraghavan has decided to make that style and content his signature.
He better know that by doing so, he’s only gonna remain the poor-man’s-Maniratnam and never be able to relate to a wider audience, let alone the World Cinema he wants to compete with.
The same thing applies to the stars too. Starting with Vijay (he would do a world of good for himself refraining from another one of those shorts-jatti lines that smack of sexist policing), Vikram (no more slapping heroines) and Suriya (the young man has taken to sexist policing too in ‘Aaru’)…. surely they don’t want to be seen doing things which the likes of Simbu and Dhanush do!
Reasons for being away: Nine films, One concert!
Yeah, this is what I’ve been doing as part of work over the last few days… Life can be tough you know… 😀
1. Karkash:
Was wondering what Suchitra Pillai was doing in that movie until the later half of the movie! 😀 Usually, if you’re watching a film about an oppressed rural woman, whose husband abuses and cheats on her, you expect the woman, especially in a festival film to
a. leave him. walk out on him, Astitva types.
b. take revenge on him.
c. cheat on him having an affair
d. kill him.
But this one, ladies and gentlemen, defies all standard rules of Indian parallel cinema and has a rather… er… ahem ahem… over-the-top solution…
e. She f***s his brains out and he becomes a good man! Waah! Just one more point to prove what simple needs men have… ha ha!
But I don’t think any woman in Indian cinema, has had the guts to shoot the lovemaking scene the way Suchitra has… Not even Mallika Sherawat! cuz, this one’s not about nudity as much as it is about passion! Hawt!!
2. Manasarovar:
Anup Kurian won a lot of critical acclaim for this one, including the Gollapudi Srinivas Memorial National award for Best Debutant Director. And you can see why.
It’s a very simple story of unrequited love and rural-urban disconnect shown with great depth and intensity. It can’t get more real than this. But Anup denies that it has anything to do with reality. “Entirely fiction,” he said.
Watch the movie and you’d think he’s lying!
Fantastic performances by Atul Kulkarni and Neha Dubey.
3. Tesis (Thesis):
This Spanish movie I went to watch at the Chennai International Film Festival cuz it’s directed by Alejandro Amenabar, the guy who made ‘Abre Los Ojos’…
And wow! Awesome… What seems like a script one would write in film school is fleshed out with great detail, with the suspense wrapped with reels and reels of mystery. A film student writing a thesis on violence comes across this snuff video (like the 8mm movie) and begins investigating, only to get drawn into the web of psycho killers who film how they torture and kill their victims. Not as good as ‘Abre Los Ojos’ but certainly worth a watch.
4. Well Tempered Corpses (Bosnian):
Can anyone else make films on death with such irreverence? Trust a war-ravaged country to do it. This one begins in a morgue with the docs on duty placing a bet on how many corpses will arrive that nite before 1 a.m. Four of them arrive and the movie cuts back to four parallel stories each of them about one of those brought dead. It cuts back to the morgue for a hilarious climax. All four stories are connected and you can’t help but go Wow!! It’s a commentary on the state of affairs post war… its profound, dark and gives a detailed insight on life and death in Bosnia.
5. Life is a Miracle (Serbian):
This one from the neighbouring country is the exact opposite of the previous film and good I saw them back to back. If the previous one’s is on a bleak post-war near-death scenario, this one celebrates life during war. It’s a classic, which has to go right up there with the likes of Life is Beautiful. The imagery is captivating, the love story is most passionate and director Emir Kusturica is a genious, especially the love scenes — the best you can ever find, outside of a porn film, ha ha!
6. Bluffmaster:
This had the best lines we’ve heard in a Hindi film of late. It’s a story told with refreshing casual coolness and a laidback pace. Where it falters is in the plot. Also, watching Bluffmaster, you can see the numerous nods to his sources of inspiration: Vanilla Sky, Fight Club, Jerry Maguire, Oceans Eleven, The Game and the local ones too: Sholay, Shaan, Do aur Do Paanch. There’s just one reason however to watch this in the theatre: Nana Patekar!! And Abhishek too does a wonderfully underplayed role. Rohan Sippy is a neat director, now he just needs a good script! Shridhar Raghavan is a good screenwriter too, his lines rock… now he just needs a good plot!
7. Kanda Naal Mudhal:
The best romantic comedy I’ve seen in Tamil in recent times.
If ‘Minnale,’ the story about two sworn enemies in love with one girl was any indication of what Gautam is capable of, then ‘Kanda Naal Mudhal,’ the story of two best buddies involved in one girl who is one’s sworn enemy, is ample indication of the phenomenal talent of debutant director Priya. True that she’s been aided by the best technicians in the business and she has a definite Mani Ratnam hangover (she was his associate) but Priya’s original style and sensitivity comes out in the face-offs between the leading pair, who have given mind blowing performances. Prasanna especially delivers the performance of the year with his now-subtle, now-intense casual performance, breathing life and love into a well-etched out role.
Must watch! Just forgive the mandatory heart-attack sentiment, derived from Mani’s movies and you will totally enjoy this film!
8. Vaah! Life Ho To Aisi:
Some one tell Shahid Kapur that he aint Shah Rukh Khan. He seems to be convinced that he IS Shah Rukh Khan trapped inside Shahid’s body.
This movie mixes Mr.India with Koi Mil Gaya and Ghost with Hanuman Chalisa and Indian mythology and thinks people will enjoy it even if it does not have a well-fleshed out plot.
So as a result we have invisible superhero ghosts who protect their family with the help of Yamraaj M.A. (Sanjay Dutt) a cross between Munna Bhai and some failed Brit actor, so much that when Sanjay actually appears at the end of the movie, you can’t tell the difference between the character Yamraaj and the actor!
Dumb kids will love the film… the others wouldn’t mind watching it on TV.
9.Sandaikozhi:
Why did I go for this movie in the first place???
Cuz my friend M took me hostage.
But it wasn’t all that bad BUT for that thing out there which is tall, dark and ugly as hell. He tries hard to act but that certainly aint his department.
But for this producer’s son in the film, Sandaikozhi is a film with wasted potential. The direction is pretty neat, so is the pace and the secondary characters. Now, if only it had someone else in the lead!
10. Zubin Mehta concert:
Echooz me, they said he’s a conductor… but he dint issue tickets for the show..
And he didn’t play any instruments, he just kept swinging his stick, making faces at his orchestra while it tried hard to concentrate on the notes kept in front!
Kuchi-aataruthukku evalo build-up ah? (So much hype for just swinging a stick?)
Lol!
Seriously, awesome show… mind-blowing to say the least… loved every second of the concert!
There is no better high than the one live music provides!
The Saarang blog!
For lowdown on the mother of all festivals, go here.
Very interesting.
"CAN Conquer CANcer" (or "Cancer is Conquerable")
Join the Blogsphere by livening up things in an otherwise bleak world; the world of a cancer patient. You can write prose, blog a poem, podcast your video/audio….
And for the 5 best thots, we have lots of prizes including an USB 128 MB podcast device, 350 MB hosting space, T-shirts, etc (Check out the Prizes link…). And what more, all entrants will get their Blogs featured on the Sulekha portal.
Contest extended till Jan. 10.
More details here.
MADRAS INK. 