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When boys meet girls, a lot of things can happen…
Soon, it’s a whole new game!
The game called Life. That Four Letter Word.
A game where anything is possible!
Looks like a controversy to me!
Yesterday I watched Shallow Hal again.
Yes, it has to be among the most insensitive movies ever made. But to be honest, I found it wickedly funny, except for the mushy feel-good end.
I know it’s politically incorrect to laugh at fat people, I know “beauty is only skin-deep” and all those politically correct things people say to make ugly people feel good! He he! Awrite, I was kidding! Seriously, I was kidding and you know I’m kidding cuz I am not like a Greek God myself (Er… ummm… actually I could be… if you gimme a few weeks … a little working out at the gym should do the trick. Or gimme a few minutes, a little working on PhotoShop could do it too).
But the point here is that I don’t think one should feel bad about saying politically incorrect things as long as it’s just said for the sake of humour. I mean the world will be such a boring place to live in if no one ever took a dig!
The problem I had with Shallow Hall is the politically correct ending. Hal finally ends up with that incredibly obese woman who he thought was like the slim and slender Gwyneth Paltrow!
Throughout the movie, the Farelly brothers make fun of fat and aesthetically challenged people, depict them in the most graphically, unflatteringly unattractive way possible and in the end do a unconvincing half-hearted volte face and want us to believe exactly the contrary.
In fact, it is the politically correct end which makes the movie appear very pretentious and hypocritical.
All they had to do was make the fat girl dump Shallow Hal and go back to her ex-boyfriend. So Hal would’ve learnt his lesson and maybe rebound on his neighbour (who happens to be hawt too!)… that would’ve made for a more honest ending, even if it was politically incorrect for him to end up with an attractive woman.
I don’t see why the audience wouldn’t have bought that! The Farelly Brothers did make fun of mentally ill people in Dumb and Dumber, they made fun of the blind boy in the same film when they con the blind boy into buying a dead parrot!
We have come to expect the Farelly Brothers to say the most politically incorrect things and to their credit, they do a super job of that! So why try and con the world into believing that beauty is only skin deep?
Discussing this movie with colleagues brought me to another discussion, thanks to my affinity in using the words ‘hawt chicks’ in every other sentence.
Are looks important?
Why are most men particular about “hawt chicks?”
Hmmm! Well, to answer that question for Sudhish Kamath, I will have to submit the following. My client picked up the words ‘hawt chicks’ after having watched the movie ‘Dude, Where’s My Car?’ The way these words are used so often in the movie makes the whole usage wickedly funny. My client Sudhish picked up the usage ever since and has been using the terminology to refer to anyone from Mirabai to Mother Teresa! (Basically hawt chicks have been rounded off to women in general… Anyone who’s known me knows that the women I refer to as ‘hawt chicks’ aren’t exactly the ones you would find on the cover of Cosmopolitan or even Kiran TV for that matter and nor has any of my romantic interests over the last two years been over five foot one inch!).
Back to the question: Are looks important?
To answer that on a more general level, men only say they dig ‘hawt chicks’ just like how women say they need the Tall, dark, handsome hunk. Leching is an entirely different game. For every guy leching at Yana Gupta’s tender thighs in the Babuji number, there is a girl lusting after Brad Pitt’s thunder thighs in Troy!
Yet, are men more superficial than women? Difficult to say, but giving the girls the benefit of doubt, I would dare say they can be quite superficial sometimes.
It doesn’t matter what they look like, they will go behind the prettiest girl in the class with religious commitment to profess their love for her! It’s this rather mysterious yet much-abused concept called ‘Love at first sight’! And there are actually women in this world who’ve bought that kinda shit too!
I, for one, do not believe in love at first sight. Or let’s just say I do believe in it, only that I prefer to call it something else. It’s called Lust.
And, lust aint a bad word at all!
Men do it. Women do it.
And some times, it is the lust that often triggers off the attraction. That being the case, who dare ask: Why are looks considered that important?
A sorry and a thank-you!
A friend noticed that I’ve been mean to many who have disagreed with me in the comments section.
“Can’t you be kind,” she asked.
“I can only be me,” I said.
Seriously, I can’t pretend to be nice to people, especially anonymous strangers who leave smart ass comments. I’m not here to win a popularity contest. I mostly speak my mind. That way there is no bitterness accumulating inside. No frustration, no pent up emotions.
But having said that, I realised I just crossed 50,000 hits. Which means a lot of you have been reading my blog, in spite of me being rude or nasty in some occasions.
This blog is to thank you for listening. And for being around!
And also, to apologise to all those I have pissed off in the course of a quarrel or a debate! I don’t nor do I claim to be nice. Diplomacy is the last thing I believe in. So I’m pretty much sure that I’d have said quite a few mean things.
Sorry for that and thanks for putting up with me, in spite of all that!
Cheers!
Review: Hitch!
Basic Principles…
1. Don’t talk excitedly or laugh out loud during the film, just smile.
This way your date has no clue if you all the while knew the tricks of the trade/ the rules of the game or not.
Cuz if you tell her you knew about these tricks all the while, she’s gonna think you did ‘design’ your first few moves on her.
If you pretend like you never knew any of this, it’s worse. She would then use her limited resources (head) and then assume that you took professional help (like asked one of your player friends for tips) to ‘snare’ her or that you are too boring to think of something as exciting as that.
Yes, women are capable of saying exactly the opposite things with equal amount of conviction on two different days! So, even if they ask you if you did do stuff like that ever, stay non-commital on this. Being non-commital is among the best virtues we men have been blessed with. Which means God sure is trying to say something there. Listen to Him!
2. Make mental notes. There is quite a bit you can learn from the movie, whether or not you have a tough time getting the right girl to go out with you. And these happen to be things which ‘Hitch’ does not say/prescribe in the film… the goof-ups, for example, do make women think you are adorable and cute.
3. Don’t get lost in the movie. The key is to SHARE the movie with your date and take a dig here and there about women. Keep a healthy secret conversation going in the course of the film. This way, you won’t notice that the second half of the film does not really live upto the promising first. Besides, men versus women talk can fuel the interest of even the dumbest of dates.
4. Repeat after me. Will Smith is NOT all that hawt. Stick to this if your opinions are asked: “He’s okay.” That way a.You won’t sound gay. b. You won’t start a fight saying he isn’t.
5. And yes, Hitch aint all that smart either. If he WAS, he would’nt come across as such a confused dork in the end. The transformation seems to forced into the script. The scriptwriters need not have really made him a bumbling nervous jackass though it does seem to make the whole thing appear cute.
But hey, he was the same guy who gatecrashed into the speed-dating session in style. How can a man so confident till that point turn into the stereotypical mushy cornball? Making him totally out of character seems to be the intention. But, now that’s bad idea! The movie would’ve worked better without the soppy climax, obviously inspired by Jerry Maguire’s ‘You complete me’ speech!
Three in a day!
Yay! I saw three super cool movies today, the first two of these in the movie halls and one at home!!
1. Robots: Awesome masala cartoon flick. Watch this space. Review coming up soon! Just gave it in today for the Friday Review.
2. Hitch: A script I wish I had written… Cuz it really could’ve done with a little re-writing, the second half especially just doesn’t live upto the absolute riot of a first half! Will post a detailed review here soon. Too tired at the end of the day.
3. City of God: Absolutely riveting!! Finally got to watch it after my colleague Karthik insisted that it’s even better than The Godfather. But then, since I don’t think that Godfather is the best movie ever made, I can safely say that City of God has to be among the best movies ever made. Very crude and raw yet slick, very funny yet intensely poignant, brutally violent yet stylishly stylised!
Can’t wait to see this masterpiece again!
Singlehood and movies!
All these days I’ve been busy with my movie and reviewing films for the paper that it’s almost like I haven’t gone out for a movie as a social outing in ages!
The thing is that once you spend too much time with one girl for a few months, you lose touch with the other friends who were once your regular movie-dates. Yes, I’m not including the guys because you never really lose touch with the guys. They are always there around you, even when the bitch thinks you are alone and depressed. I can go on and write a huge post on male bonding and the undying spirit of friendship among men. But this one is about the bitter-sweet pangs and joys of being single and unattached!
So today, I woke up and realised just that! I have seen many many movies in the last few months but none really with my women friends, in ages! I have only myself to blame for that.
At 28, it’s just a matter of few months before you realise that most of the women who used to go for movies with you now are busy trying to retain their commitment-phobic boyfriends or worse-still … their newly-wed husbands. You suddenly realise that you are among the rare few single people you know and all the single girls you still know were never really the ones you were interested in. Even as a social security partner.
Yeah, social security partner. That’s a term I came up with to label non-committal, timepass relationships with the opposite sex since women so want a label for everything.
Right now, today, I want to see ‘Hitch,’ the Will Smith movie about the date-consultant. But the hitch is, I don’t have a date to watch the movie with! And no, frankly I don’t fancy watching ‘Hitch’ with the guys. With guys, I would probably watch a Chandramukhi (Thalaivaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!) or ‘Sachein’ or even Sins. But a movie like Hitch or Princess Diaries … NEVER!
So I realised that it’s now time to meet new people. Read normal, ordinary, simple women … yes, I’m done with waiting for interesting, exciting, funny and super-intelligent not because they don’t exist… it’s just that they come at a price.
Duh! If they are not yet taken, there’s obviously a good enough reason for that. They are either
a. Psycho at some level
b. Trying to get over some asshole who cheated on them
c. Waiting for their Moms to find them a boy
d. All of the above!
And the others who seem nice and sweet are just too young!
So what does a guy do?
Here’s what I did.
Went to the DVD store and picked up some movies I always wanted to watch.
1. City of God: Bought a two-in-one combo with Out of Time.
2. Untouchables and Scarface combo.
3. L.A. Confidential, Identity and Swimming Pool combo.
4. There’s Something About Mary and the Sweetest Thing combo, just for Cameron Diaz!
Yeah, these nine movies on four DVDs for 500 bucks! More exciting than a date, for sure.
And yes, cheaper too! Ha ha!
MADRAS INK. 