The game called Life. That Four Letter Word. 
Posts By sudhishkamath
A game where anything is possible!
Looks like a controversy to me!
Yesterday I watched Shallow Hal again.
Yes, it has to be among the most insensitive movies ever made. But to be honest, I found it wickedly funny, except for the mushy feel-good end.
I know it’s politically incorrect to laugh at fat people, I know “beauty is only skin-deep” and all those politically correct things people say to make ugly people feel good! He he! Awrite, I was kidding! Seriously, I was kidding and you know I’m kidding cuz I am not like a Greek God myself (Er… ummm… actually I could be… if you gimme a few weeks … a little working out at the gym should do the trick. Or gimme a few minutes, a little working on PhotoShop could do it too).
But the point here is that I don’t think one should feel bad about saying politically incorrect things as long as it’s just said for the sake of humour. I mean the world will be such a boring place to live in if no one ever took a dig!
The problem I had with Shallow Hall is the politically correct ending. Hal finally ends up with that incredibly obese woman who he thought was like the slim and slender Gwyneth Paltrow!
Throughout the movie, the Farelly brothers make fun of fat and aesthetically challenged people, depict them in the most graphically, unflatteringly unattractive way possible and in the end do a unconvincing half-hearted volte face and want us to believe exactly the contrary.
In fact, it is the politically correct end which makes the movie appear very pretentious and hypocritical.
All they had to do was make the fat girl dump Shallow Hal and go back to her ex-boyfriend. So Hal would’ve learnt his lesson and maybe rebound on his neighbour (who happens to be hawt too!)… that would’ve made for a more honest ending, even if it was politically incorrect for him to end up with an attractive woman.
I don’t see why the audience wouldn’t have bought that! The Farelly Brothers did make fun of mentally ill people in Dumb and Dumber, they made fun of the blind boy in the same film when they con the blind boy into buying a dead parrot!
We have come to expect the Farelly Brothers to say the most politically incorrect things and to their credit, they do a super job of that! So why try and con the world into believing that beauty is only skin deep?
Discussing this movie with colleagues brought me to another discussion, thanks to my affinity in using the words ‘hawt chicks’ in every other sentence.
Are looks important?
Why are most men particular about “hawt chicks?”
Hmmm! Well, to answer that question for Sudhish Kamath, I will have to submit the following. My client picked up the words ‘hawt chicks’ after having watched the movie ‘Dude, Where’s My Car?’ The way these words are used so often in the movie makes the whole usage wickedly funny. My client Sudhish picked up the usage ever since and has been using the terminology to refer to anyone from Mirabai to Mother Teresa! (Basically hawt chicks have been rounded off to women in general… Anyone who’s known me knows that the women I refer to as ‘hawt chicks’ aren’t exactly the ones you would find on the cover of Cosmopolitan or even Kiran TV for that matter and nor has any of my romantic interests over the last two years been over five foot one inch!).
Back to the question: Are looks important?
To answer that on a more general level, men only say they dig ‘hawt chicks’ just like how women say they need the Tall, dark, handsome hunk. Leching is an entirely different game. For every guy leching at Yana Gupta’s tender thighs in the Babuji number, there is a girl lusting after Brad Pitt’s thunder thighs in Troy!
Yet, are men more superficial than women? Difficult to say, but giving the girls the benefit of doubt, I would dare say they can be quite superficial sometimes.
It doesn’t matter what they look like, they will go behind the prettiest girl in the class with religious commitment to profess their love for her! It’s this rather mysterious yet much-abused concept called ‘Love at first sight’! And there are actually women in this world who’ve bought that kinda shit too!
I, for one, do not believe in love at first sight. Or let’s just say I do believe in it, only that I prefer to call it something else. It’s called Lust.
And, lust aint a bad word at all!
Men do it. Women do it.
And some times, it is the lust that often triggers off the attraction. That being the case, who dare ask: Why are looks considered that important?
A sorry and a thank-you!
A friend noticed that I’ve been mean to many who have disagreed with me in the comments section.
“Can’t you be kind,” she asked.
“I can only be me,” I said.
Seriously, I can’t pretend to be nice to people, especially anonymous strangers who leave smart ass comments. I’m not here to win a popularity contest. I mostly speak my mind. That way there is no bitterness accumulating inside. No frustration, no pent up emotions.
But having said that, I realised I just crossed 50,000 hits. Which means a lot of you have been reading my blog, in spite of me being rude or nasty in some occasions.
This blog is to thank you for listening. And for being around!
And also, to apologise to all those I have pissed off in the course of a quarrel or a debate! I don’t nor do I claim to be nice. Diplomacy is the last thing I believe in. So I’m pretty much sure that I’d have said quite a few mean things.
Sorry for that and thanks for putting up with me, in spite of all that!
Cheers!
Review: Hitch!
Basic Principles…
1. Don’t talk excitedly or laugh out loud during the film, just smile.
This way your date has no clue if you all the while knew the tricks of the trade/ the rules of the game or not.
Cuz if you tell her you knew about these tricks all the while, she’s gonna think you did ‘design’ your first few moves on her.
If you pretend like you never knew any of this, it’s worse. She would then use her limited resources (head) and then assume that you took professional help (like asked one of your player friends for tips) to ‘snare’ her or that you are too boring to think of something as exciting as that.
Yes, women are capable of saying exactly the opposite things with equal amount of conviction on two different days! So, even if they ask you if you did do stuff like that ever, stay non-commital on this. Being non-commital is among the best virtues we men have been blessed with. Which means God sure is trying to say something there. Listen to Him!
2. Make mental notes. There is quite a bit you can learn from the movie, whether or not you have a tough time getting the right girl to go out with you. And these happen to be things which ‘Hitch’ does not say/prescribe in the film… the goof-ups, for example, do make women think you are adorable and cute.
3. Don’t get lost in the movie. The key is to SHARE the movie with your date and take a dig here and there about women. Keep a healthy secret conversation going in the course of the film. This way, you won’t notice that the second half of the film does not really live upto the promising first. Besides, men versus women talk can fuel the interest of even the dumbest of dates.
4. Repeat after me. Will Smith is NOT all that hawt. Stick to this if your opinions are asked: “He’s okay.” That way a.You won’t sound gay. b. You won’t start a fight saying he isn’t.
5. And yes, Hitch aint all that smart either. If he WAS, he would’nt come across as such a confused dork in the end. The transformation seems to forced into the script. The scriptwriters need not have really made him a bumbling nervous jackass though it does seem to make the whole thing appear cute.
But hey, he was the same guy who gatecrashed into the speed-dating session in style. How can a man so confident till that point turn into the stereotypical mushy cornball? Making him totally out of character seems to be the intention. But, now that’s bad idea! The movie would’ve worked better without the soppy climax, obviously inspired by Jerry Maguire’s ‘You complete me’ speech!
Three in a day!
Yay! I saw three super cool movies today, the first two of these in the movie halls and one at home!!
1. Robots: Awesome masala cartoon flick. Watch this space. Review coming up soon! Just gave it in today for the Friday Review.
2. Hitch: A script I wish I had written… Cuz it really could’ve done with a little re-writing, the second half especially just doesn’t live upto the absolute riot of a first half! Will post a detailed review here soon. Too tired at the end of the day.
3. City of God: Absolutely riveting!! Finally got to watch it after my colleague Karthik insisted that it’s even better than The Godfather. But then, since I don’t think that Godfather is the best movie ever made, I can safely say that City of God has to be among the best movies ever made. Very crude and raw yet slick, very funny yet intensely poignant, brutally violent yet stylishly stylised!
Can’t wait to see this masterpiece again!
Singlehood and movies!
All these days I’ve been busy with my movie and reviewing films for the paper that it’s almost like I haven’t gone out for a movie as a social outing in ages!
The thing is that once you spend too much time with one girl for a few months, you lose touch with the other friends who were once your regular movie-dates. Yes, I’m not including the guys because you never really lose touch with the guys. They are always there around you, even when the bitch thinks you are alone and depressed. I can go on and write a huge post on male bonding and the undying spirit of friendship among men. But this one is about the bitter-sweet pangs and joys of being single and unattached!
So today, I woke up and realised just that! I have seen many many movies in the last few months but none really with my women friends, in ages! I have only myself to blame for that.
At 28, it’s just a matter of few months before you realise that most of the women who used to go for movies with you now are busy trying to retain their commitment-phobic boyfriends or worse-still … their newly-wed husbands. You suddenly realise that you are among the rare few single people you know and all the single girls you still know were never really the ones you were interested in. Even as a social security partner.
Yeah, social security partner. That’s a term I came up with to label non-committal, timepass relationships with the opposite sex since women so want a label for everything.
Right now, today, I want to see ‘Hitch,’ the Will Smith movie about the date-consultant. But the hitch is, I don’t have a date to watch the movie with! And no, frankly I don’t fancy watching ‘Hitch’ with the guys. With guys, I would probably watch a Chandramukhi (Thalaivaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!) or ‘Sachein’ or even Sins. But a movie like Hitch or Princess Diaries … NEVER!
So I realised that it’s now time to meet new people. Read normal, ordinary, simple women … yes, I’m done with waiting for interesting, exciting, funny and super-intelligent not because they don’t exist… it’s just that they come at a price.
Duh! If they are not yet taken, there’s obviously a good enough reason for that. They are either
a. Psycho at some level
b. Trying to get over some asshole who cheated on them
c. Waiting for their Moms to find them a boy
d. All of the above!
And the others who seem nice and sweet are just too young!
So what does a guy do?
Here’s what I did.
Went to the DVD store and picked up some movies I always wanted to watch.
1. City of God: Bought a two-in-one combo with Out of Time.
2. Untouchables and Scarface combo.
3. L.A. Confidential, Identity and Swimming Pool combo.
4. There’s Something About Mary and the Sweetest Thing combo, just for Cameron Diaz!
Yeah, these nine movies on four DVDs for 500 bucks! More exciting than a date, for sure.
And yes, cheaper too! Ha ha!
Mumbai Express: Fast-food cinema!
After a meaty ‘Virumaandi’ and a rehashed ‘Vasool Raja,’ Kodambakkam’s master chef returns with cinema of the fast food variety.
Mumbai Express seems to be a film written by a confident Kamal Haasan and shot by Singeetham Srinivasa Rao in express speed. Writing a script in three days can be a good thing and a bad thing. Good because the flow is spontaneous and the imagination too is let loose. Bad because three days isn’t adequate time to flesh out the characters.
But being the genious he is, Kamal surely has done justice to at least 80 per cent of the characters he’s created — the gang of four planning the kidnap is an absolute riot. It’s in the 20 per cent he skipped that the movie falters — the characters of Manisha and the fat kid, to be precise.
What Kamal Haasan as a screenwriter really had to do was to borrow blinkers from the horse he cast in the film and use them to keep his eyes on the core premise — the story of the kidnap that went wrong when planned right and which went right when intended against. Confused? Well, I guess that will make sense when you watch the film.
The human family drama, romantic angle and sentiment crap that unfolds shortly after interval really was out of sync with the rest of the narrative. This is where Express goes off track. Fast forward twenty minutes (including song) and you’re back to the meat of the plot. The run-for-the-money sequences in the film alone could have given ‘Chandramukhi’ a run for its money, but the excess baggage (family drama/sentiment) slows down Express and turns out to be the chain (of events) that stops the train.
After all, adventure is a genre which can really do without irrelevant sentiment. Manisha’s change of heart in the end is so sudden and contrived that Kamal could have just made Manisha fall in love with him much earlier in the film or at least dropped hints of interest. The fat kid who starts off on a promising note, is forgotten in the second half of the film and gets lost in the proceedings. Blame that on the screenwriter.
Having said all that, I remember reading somewhere that ordinary men are written about for their successes, the extra-ordinary are written about even for their failures. Kamal as a screenwriter might have messed up the script just a little, but the performer redeems the film
and the veteran director’s touch is evident throughout, especially in the timing and subtlety with which the actors deliver their punch-lines.
Technically speaking, having shot for my film with the same model of digital camera that Kamal Haasan used in ‘Mumbai Express,’ I for one, can say that the technicians have done a phenomenal job in creating a canvas which only 35mm film is known to provide, on simple digital video. Having said that, lack of exciting song sequences do make the film seem longer than it actually is and is actually the reason if you at any point that the film was looking like a TV serial.
But again, the digital projection at Abhirami was good to the extent that most viewers didn’t even realise that the film was shot on digital video. Those who watched the film at Kasi and Sathyam however seem to have observed pixellated frames, probably caused because of problems encountered by Kamal either in reverse telecine (process of printing video to 35mm film) or possible human error in the projector room caused by zooming into picture area to leave margins out of the canvas.
[My friends who watched the movie in Prarthana drive in (one of the biggest screens in town) say that the projection there was just fine. This is what makes me believe that the pixellation in Kasi/Sathyam was probably a human error!]
Mumbai Express might not be a wholesome unlimited meals, but is surely timepass cinema of the fast-food variety. Get entertained. Instantly. And get hungry within minutes after you walk out!
P.S: After that, you know where to head for filling entertainment, don’t you? Ikkada Choodu audience gaaru… simply Chandramukhi paaru! 😀
Chandramukhi: Return of the king!
All things you loved about Superstar are back.
1. Youthful zest: Superstar looks young yet again! Yay!
2. SPB Intro song: Thank you, Devuda!
3. P-P-Paambu sentiment: Snakes ought to be a part of Superstar comedy, so here it is!
4. Return of the native: Superstar always is the son of the soil. Either, he’s a village simpleton or a highly educated youth back from the States, lured home by the smell of the soil. After a string of films playing simpleton, he’s back to his Rajathi Raja days.
5. Friendship sentiment: Prabhu replaces Sarath Babu as the eternal best friend that Superstar will give his own life for. Superstar is always the nanban, the thozhan, the thalapathy!
6. Englees: Nothing works like Superstar English. How is it?? Super! In this one, Superstar throws some psychoanalytical jargon too! Too much ya!
7. Kick the sidekick comedy: Remember Superstar kicking Chinni Jayanth everytime he said ‘Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaan’ in Raja Chinna Roja? Or him getting Senthil into trouble for wearing his silk shirt? This time, it is Vadivelu’s turn. What surprises me is the level of double meaning dialogues in a Superstar movie, that too uttered by Superstar himself! Hmmm!!
8. Special effects: Ha ha ha ha ha! Superstar surely seems to be obsessed with special effects involving a kite… Here we go again! Kidding actually, here it’s just for a song and it works! Oh, and the Matrix style fight sequences. Now… if they don’t give that kind of build-up for Superstar, who will they give it for! Besides, they are called Special effects cuz Superstar uses these effects!
9. Song Picturisation: Pichitaanga!! Super! Excellently wonderfully beautifully choreographed and shot sequences and awesome songs!
10. Timing, style, flair, charisma, magic.
However, what it does not have:
1. No solid punchlines: Superstar seems to have gone on a peace mission. No attacks on anyone! Disappointing!
2. Subdued style: Very very underplayed this time around. No smoking at all, which is a good thing!
3. Fight in the climax! But hey, we are forgetting that it’s afterall an adaptation of ‘Manichitrathazhu’ which never had a single fight scene!
How it compares to the original:
No comparison. Different genres. Different sensibilities. Those who loved the original need to understand that before running down this simpler, dramatised version. Manichitrathazhu is indeed India’s best made thriller and will remain so. The beauty of that film lies in the narrative that explores with great detail the supernatural and the scientific aspects of a person possessed by the spirit of the dancer who died ages ago. The beauty of this film lies in the fact that P.Vasu actually managed to simply such a complicated fascinating tale and easily comprehensible by the lowest common denominator in the audience, by converting this into a typical Superstar movie with all the masala! No easy task this!
Oh, there’s also this small mood piece I wrote after watching the movie noon show on the first day of release. This story appeared today.
Gotta watch this more than once. As it comes in the ‘Devuda’ song… ‘REPEATU’!
Tripping on movies!
Well, it’s been too much That Four Letter Word in my blog and in my life too.
So, the break that came when we sat digitising 18 hours of footage was a welcome relief. Watched four American teen comedies and the over-rated ‘Manmathan.’
1. Road Trip: Yeah, it’s been on my must-see list for a long time now. Finally watched this laugh-riot. It is wickedly funny with wonderful characters and situations. Yes, there are scenes which would gross you out, but on the whole, it’s a must watch for anyone who digs comedies.
2. Euro Trip: This movie by the producers of Road Trip is a wannabe. All it has are stereotypes, some sick jokes that fall flat, lots of T & A (don’t tell me you don’t know what’s T**s & A**) . The only funny thing in the movie is the song ‘Scotty doesn’t know.’ Had me laughing everytime it appeared in the film. It’s pure soft porn, this movie!
3. Boat Trip: This one’s got Cuba Gooding Jr. It’s a movie about these two guys who plan a trip on a cruise to get laid, only to find out that the travel agent put them on board a gay cruise, just to get even with them, after they piss him off. It’s not all that funny, nor does it have any nudity but it’s just about barely watchable for a romantic comedy, just for Cuba Gooding Jr.
4. Old School: Made by Todd Philips, the director of Road Trip, Old School aint cool at all. It’s got a few funny scenes, crude American teen humour and an excuse of a plot. It’s quite a weird movie actually.
5. Manmadhan: Finally, saw this much hyped movie where Simbu is supposed to have shown his acting and technical prowess. I had my fist clenched from the moment the word Little Super Star Simbu appeared and the first half of the movie was disgustingly repulsive. I don’t think I’m ever gonna buy the premise that women would even talk to rapist-looking boys (like Simbhu in the film) let alone chasing him!
But, to be honest, I did dig the second character he played in the film. Though a little over the top, it’s got to be his role of a lifetime, esp. for that one scene when he catches his girl sleeping with a Dhanush-lookalike! The suspense maintained in the movie was commendable indeed but call it my bias, prejudice or whatever, that don’t impress me much.
Over all, I guess he’s done the best he can and that’s not really awe-inspiring. Here’s a tip Simbhu: why don’t you try dropping off your self-proclaimed ‘Little superstar’ tag till you actually earn it. That will automatically ensure you at least 1o fans instantaneously.
Additions to my home video collection:
1.Punnagai Mannan: Okay, he rehashes Charlie Chaplin and Dirty Dancing, but this Kamal Haasan movie has soul. I soo love the movie. Will watch it for Kamal’s tribute to Chaplin and the first song (Enna Saththam Indha Neram) any number of times!
2. Mouna Raagam: Finally, Yay!! This is probably Mani Ratnam’s finest and most original work till date. He excels in exploring human relationships, esp. man-woman. He showed that in Alai Payuthey too!
3. Vanilla Sky-Open Your Eyes-Captain Correlli’s Mandolin-Blow: I bought this 4-in-1 DVD just cuz it had my favourite movie ‘Vanilla Sky’ and the original Spanish film ‘Abre Los Ojos’ (Open Your Eyes) . From the little I’ve seen of the Spanish one, it’s much simpler and powerful all right but you just can’t miss Cameron Crowe’s light touch to this otherwise serious movie!
4. Dumb and Dumber-Dumb and Dumberer-Bruce Almighty-Grinch-Me,Myself and Irene: Bought this 5-in-1 cuz I love Dumb and Dumber and Bruce Almighty: Two movies that made me think! Ha ha!
5. Collateral-Rain Man-Last Samurai-Eyes Wide Shut: Bought it cuz I STILL haven’t seen Collateral and Rain Man!
6. Casablanca-Roman Holiday-Gone with the Wind-Sound of Music: Bought it for a crash course in classics!
7. Star Wars Collection: Yes, five in one DVD!
8. Silence of the lambs-Hannibal-Red Dragon and Frankenstein: I love at least two outta the four I’ve seen and I’m pretty much sure the other two would be equally good!
9. Oh yeah, and the trip collection I was talking about: Road Trip, Euro Trip, Boat Trip and Old School. Will keep this one just for Road Trip. Awesome!
10. The LOTR collection (but this I bought a coupla months ago.)
Just can’t wait for TFLW to be done.
So many movies, so little time!
A DVD player, some great movies and some good company. What more can you ask from life?
MADRAS INK. 